Funny thing… my coworker Bill is some kind of closet MBAer. Years ago, he toyed with the idea of attending B-school. He even considered studying in the US. But then the economy took a downturn… people with MBAs just weren’t finding the jobs they thought would be a given. So Bill changed his mind. But by then, he had already spent a bunch of energy studying business-related topics like strategic channel relationships and the like (uh BOR-ING!). Anyway, the other day, he started telling me about IBM’s former CEO– Steve Gestner or something? I had no idea. I mean, beyond Trump, Forbes, Iacocca (?), Welch, Gates, Jobs, Fiorina, that’s about all I know. So anyway Bill starts telling me about Gestner’s famous quote, “Even an elephant can learn to dance.” Was Gestner talking about the mammoth Big Blue? Ha, ha. What a joke. Boy have these last few weeks been an eye-opener. Here I am at a Fortune 500, and my external hard drive at home is larger than our server’s, which is shared among 15 people. Let’s see: I just finished week 5, and I have yet to receive a door badge despite already clocking ungodly amounts of OT. I was at the goddamn office until 4:30 am on Thursday night! I mean the list goes on and on. I had to pay 5 kuai for my own office key duplicate. Oh I busted my ass recording these stupid training modules– suffered through shitty mic after shitty mic. Ended up buying my own goddamn mic so I could record at home, and I still had to redo it, “because your voice and the recording quality are so inconsistent.” Well jesus christ, I’m not trainied in voice. I don’t know how to control it, and maybe if you’d give me a fucking sound studio or at least a decent mic and computer soundcard for my hours and hours of recording, maybe I could actually produce something decent. So long story short, I worked nonstop to meet this project deadline that was last Friday. Thursday night (the day before), after the shitty mic broke a second time, the PM finally went out to buy a professional mic and a semi-professional soundcard (we had been recording on our piece of shit laptops). I stayed at work until early Friday morning and then Friday evening, they told me that my clips were no good. The PM and the other guy planned to split my modules and redo them. After I’d recorded and edited my ASS off for weeks. Mother fuckers. Hel-lo… could you have arrived at that conclusion any later? And that is just one example. Needless to say, Big Blue’s tech facilities remind me of working for FMF, except FMF was non-fucking profit. I am so irritated. Just one more month and then my contract is up for renewal.

Of course, the catch has to do with my work visa. It will make my life and John’s life so much easier to have a legit, longterm, multi-entry visa. That’s the only thing that’s holding me back. Otherwise, left middle finger, right middle finger, cross the arms. I’m outta this ghetto joint. Unbelievable. John and I are selling our Big Blue stock this week, man. Make my money and I’m out. Fucking getting exploited like crazy. Today I worked from home in the morning. Didn’t even clear it with the PM. I mean seriously, there is no reason for me to go in. I can’t save shit on the server because it’s full. Yep. Last I checked, there was 55 MB remaining. Nice. No system backup. Nadda. Totally ghetto. Did you know IBM was a goddamn computer company? Who the hell knew!

In other news, I recently hooked up with Amanda Miller– a fellow Dukie whom I met months ago. Super cool chic from Berkeley. Feminist, motivated, totally into over-analyzing… we’re having a great time. Bonded this weekend talking about all our Dukie image issues– man, that was a tough environment. Anyway, she’s organizing a Duke happy hour tomorrow night. I’m gonna try to go if IBM doesn’t smother me to death. What else?

Oh so tonight I actually came home at a decent hour and didnt have to work from home, so I decided to try something new in the kitchen. Big mistake (as you probably guessed). Tried to make this channa marsala stuff, but I didn’t have onions so I substituted with carrots and yams. Made some black rice and homemade peanut butter too (not to go with channa). So the chickpeas came out gross (but the dogs like it!), but the rice and peanut butter are edible. Kudos again to Braun for making that awesome hand mixer. I didn’t have to grate the carrots or dice the potatos. Yippee! Am I lazy?

Well before you answer that question, let me just say, I do have class twice a week from 7:30 to 8:30 am. Yeah, Frank’s class is tomorrow so actually I have to go prep now. And damn, the weather is starting to turn chilly. I had to turn on the heater last night. 🙁

Countdown til Bubbey’s back. This Saturday. We’re gonna go out to eat (I haven’t really dined out in five weeks!! I know, I have a big circle of friends, can’t you tell?) at Punjabi! Awwww yeah!

The weather had been so nice here that I never even considered checking accuweather… of course as my luck would have it, last week I got caught biking home in a skirt in the rain. I was a mess when I got home.

Here’s my take: already I’ve given in to some to the practicalities for biking. For example, if my outfit requires that I wear heels, I’ll wear the dress/skirt or whatever but bike in wearing sneakers and then change. Nobody here does that (women just bike in their stillettos!). But I refuse to get a poncho. I just hate the notion of wrapping myself in plastic. For one, I have this fear of suffocating in it. Every time I see people wrapped up in that shit–and here it’s as thin as a grocery bag– I can’t help but think of those warnings they print on bags in the States. Second, I’d feel like I’m doing one of those stupid weight loss (water loss) treatments. Regardless, the bottom line is I learned my lesson. Yes, I could bike with one hand and hold an umbrella with the other, but biking here is simply too dangerous for such foolishness. Instead, I just check the weather every day online (sometimes it’s accurate, sometimes it’s not), and if there’s even the slightest chance of rain, I metro in. Enough said.

Oh god, almost forgot. Man, the spitting here has got to stop. People spit while their riding their bikes. And twice, I’ve nearly biked right into their packet flying in mid-air. Really close calls. I’m sure one of these days, I’ll get hit. I hope I won’t be too big of a ninny about it. I’ll just keep reminding myself: I used to collect waste samples at the landfill. I used to research solid waste. Bodily fluids? No big deal. Right.

I had another crazy busy week at work. I’m starting to compile a list of grievances– regarding my workspace and my contract. 🙂 This job sure is requiring a lot of outside research. Already, I had to look over the Chinese tax laws to make sure Worksoft (my hiring agent) wasn’t screwing me over by nixing my tax exemption (they sure tried). Now I’m reading over the Chinese labor laws so I have leverage to demand OT pay and who knows what else. I swear, there’s a huge gap here between the laws on the books and in practice. I’ll probably come across as a brash, demanding, bitchy American but whatever man. Bush has screwed our international reputation anyway. No, actually this has nothing to do with Bush. I just believe in getting what is legally granted. Fair is fair. Why should I allow employers to get away with exploiting their workers? Screw that! If they don’t budge, that’s another story, but at least I shoud speak up.

I finally finished all my audio recordings at work. I’m getting soooo sick of hearing myself. I’m talking hours of audio! By now, I’m starting to get pretty good at it, although my coworker said I sounded really pissy. Hmm, wonder why. Must have been Thursday– the day after our shameful elections. God, I just cannot get over Kerry’s loss. I’m not being dramatic: I truly believe that the US is going to shit. And with Bush appointing as many as three more Supreme Court judges? Jesus fucking Christ. We are so screwed.

Anyway, it’s early Sunday morning here. I gotta get going.

Oh my fucking god!!! How could this possibly be? I mean, are there that many psycho, retarded Americans? I know, it ain’t over, and goddamnit, I fully support Kerry/Edwards calling for the counting of all votes (including the 60k missing absentee ballots in Broward Co., FL), but STILL. This race shouldn’t have been so close. Really. Totally ruined my day. I’ve been a nervous wreck. This whole week, I’ve had high anxiety. Work was so frustrating and overwhelming, so I really poured myself into it, working like 12 hours a day on this Intel new employee training shit. Finally made some headway today and got some breathing room, only to stress out again with the news. I returned home late tonight after SABIC and started prepping for Frank tomorrow morning, but thankfully, he text messaged me to cancel. I hope I can sleep in. It’s weird. I’m like totally wired staying busy with work and teaching, but if I lie down, I suddenly feel exhausted. Anyway, I’m keeping my fingers crossed regarding OH. Can’t believe Republicans gained more seats in Congress. Honestly, the US is going to the shits. I mean, think about it. I’m happier living here in Commie China, for chrissakes!

I’ve made some other observations this week that I was intending to share with you, but my brain is mush now. I’m heading off to bed shortly—first night I’m hitting the sack before 1:30 in the last two weeks. Maybe baba is right– the normal adult only needs 4 hours of sleep every night. 🙂

Geez, I am such a goddamn wimp over here. First week of work and I come down with a nasty cold. Serious runny nose, watery eyes, overall misery. Thank goodness for baba’s drugs– last time back to the States, I was totally hooked up with NyQuil, Tylenol Cold, etc. I don’t care if the drugs dont’ treat the condition. I just want to escape from the debilitating symptoms. That’s right. I’m all about the quick fix.

So I don’t blame my cold on my coworkers– it’s not like they are sneezing or spitting on me or anything. I say the culprit is central AC. Yes, I have a love/hate relationship with central AC and heating. In the office, I wrapped myself in a wool sweater (and it’s only the fall!), and I still couldn’t take the cold air blowing all over me. Fucking A.

Shanghai was gorgeous this weekend. I hung out on the patio with the pups. I read that supposed New York Times bestseller Who Moved My Cheese? book. So lame. I mean, yes the message is simple, but you don’t have to oversimplify and insult the intelligence of a normal adult! So besides reading that annoying book, I practiced some guzhen (god, how long has it been since I did that?), watched a Chinese movie, went to the salon, and worked. That’s right. First week of work and already, I’m doing overtime– an entire Sunday afternoon’s worth! I know, you’re playing the violin. Fuck you.

Did I tell you that taking the subway to work was a complete nightmare and a half? When it’s rush hour, the Chinese really know how to cram into every nook and cranny on the metro. I couldn’t take the thirty minutes of smothering, so I started riding my bike. If I ride like I’m in the LOTR, I can do it in about 25 minutes. Not bad. Of course, I work up a sweat, and it’s not the most comfortable experience biking my ass off in high heels… but this week, I’m gonna try a few things. First, I think I’m going to ditch the work bag. I hate those over-the-shoulder messenger bags. They look professional but are so flimsy and useless. I’m returning to ol’ faithful: my LL Bean bookbag. Sorry, all. I just can’t succumb to fashion that blindly. Next, I’m going to bike in an exercise outfit, i.e. sweats and sneakers. And then change at work. I mean, there’s no reason to suffer. Really. I’ll still look all dolled up for the corporate work environment, but I’ll at least be able to optimize my bike ride in. I’m going to start packing a lunch. Who says you can’t work like crazy and eat adequately? The Wuster is going to come only on Sundays– when I tutor her daughter Carol. During the week, I’m on my own taking care of the pups, errands, cleaning, and food. Fortunately, bubbey stocked me up with plenty of pasta, cereal, quick and easy goods. I’m confident I’ll make it through, thanks in part to my patented banana/honey smoothie diet…

Okay, so things sounded a little too good to be true. Yes, many of you (John included) thought I was a wee-bit too optimistic about working for an MNC in China. So call me naive. It’s always been my downfall. Here I was, thinking, “Wow, what an accomplishment. I got hired without the on-site interview.” Slight mistake. IBM’s e-learing division is on the 10th floor of Rui An Plaza, at the corner of the famous Huai Hai Road and HuangPi Nan Road. Very very prestigious location. The good news is that my commute is a bike ride to the metro and four stops north– about 35 minutes. Not bad. Well the bad news is, our team of 15 people is crammed into a room about the size of my dining room and half my living room. In other words, it’s corporate closet space. There are long tables spanning maybe ten feet in length, arranged in parallel, with about three people each table. So I have a co-worker siting right next to me (like we’re eating lunch together in a high school cafeteria) and someone directly behind me– so close that our chairs are constantly bumping. Yeah. BAD NEWS. On top of that, I have a crappy P2 computer that has Chinese Windows 2000 and a crummy, dirty, non-optical, non-scrolly mouse. And my computer freezes and has to be restarted about 4-5 times a day.

So my job there is sorta a blend of writer/editor/project manager. But strangely, they expect me to write in this environment where there is absolutely no privacy or sound proofing. I mean, not even those pathetic cubicle half-walls. So people are listening to audio e-learning clips, talking on the phone, yelling to each other from one end of the room to the other, getting on con-calls— all while I’m trying to fucking write and edit.

I mean, yes the people are nice, and since the office is all Chinese (with some ABCs or CBCs (Canada)), it’s good interaction for me… still, John has spoiled me with wifi at home, a sweet laptop, nice keyboards/mice, etc. I wish I were working at home again. 🙁

Oh well. So this week has been really busy. One of our big clients, Intel, has commissioned all this new employee orientation e-learning stuff. You know what’s so weird? I’ve been tapped to be the “voice” on all their Asia-Pacific materials. That’s right. My shitty, whiney, pep-less voice was chosen by the client. I don’t know what they’re smokin’. So stay tuned… for some future clips. “The Intel Channel Knowledge Builder Program is fast and efficient in delivering e-learning solutions to your employees….” Ha, ha. Cracks me up.

Oh man, I’m sick already. IBM blasts their A/C and despite my efforts to bundle up with a wool sweater, I caught a goddamn cold. Yeah, I had to cancel my class this morning with Frank because I had snot dripping out of my nose and an intolerable headache. God, I’m such a wimp. Fortunately, dad stocked me up with Nyquil and Tylenol Cold. Give me the drugs!! I am feeling better today, but I may take in my hot-water bottle.

By the way, John has already requested reconnaissance pictures of my disappointing work conditions… I’ll try my best.

Yeah! I got a job offer from IBM Shanghai for a senior educational writing position. “As someone with a clear passion for non-profit work, how do you feel about working for a big MNC?” How many times was I asked that question? Fortunately, I have a cool answer for it. If you’re curious, let me know and I’ll fill you in. 🙂

I am so thrilled. The pay is low by US standards but quite good for Shanghai. I talked with two people on the team, and the job sounds totally cool. I’ll basically be 1) writing e-learning pieces from scratch (after being given source data from the experts 2) edit existing documents 3) do project management. Is that a fine fit or what? Teaching continues to be rewarding, but honestly it is quite tiring and in some ways tedious. With this job, I feel I’ll be able to multi-task with a lot of different things. And this job is quite close to our place. I really can’t wait. I start full-time on October 11. Full time at an MNC office in Shanghai. Wonder what it’ll be like. Wish me luck!

Blame it on the election year– in the last several months, my relationship with the parents has really soured. Honestly, I was beginning to resent them for their weird blend of Republican elitism and snobbery… Fortunately, I was rightfully reminded that I should respect my parents no matter what. I mean yeah, in many ways they are very obsessed with educational pedigree and professional prestige, but as John explained, that is not so much a characteristic specific to my parents. Rather, it’s a Chinese thing. The other hangup I have/had is my parents will vote for Bush again. So yeah, not good. I try to argue that Bush is anti-woman and anti-immigrants and anti- any sense at all, but in the end, their decision is driven by taxes and malpractice issues. I know my parents have never forgotten their humble beginnings. They still treat people they meet–of all socio-economic status–with respect and kindness. So I guess even if they support someone who’s a total asshole to less fortunate people, I guess it helps that they don’t adopt his policies directly. Still, it’s weird: they never seem to support my passions to help underprivileged people… Anyway, the point is, we have our disagreements and varying points of views, but they aren’t complete aliens. 🙂 At the core, they really are good, generous people (unlike many other Republicans), so I am proud.

Subject switch: what is up with all the crazy weather going down in FL and CA? Four hurricanes and an earthquake? Poor residents. Jesus Christ. The US is going to hell. Speaking of which, I was listening to NPR and Democracy Now today. What a goddamn mess in Iraq AND Afghanistan. And the mainstream media is reporting that more women are voting Republican because of the security issue? What the hell? Are these women complete idiots? Have they been through airport security lately? I do NOT feel more safe. This is total bullshit. God all that Department of Homeland Security crap is such a joke. Have these Bush voters noticed the deficit lately? Hello? Fiscal conservatives? Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. Morons.

Okay, enough name calling. Hey, anyone want any of our old books for sale at Half.com? I got a lil’ Santa helper administering my shipping/handling. Heh, heh.

God, I’m on this new allergy medication and it makes me drowsy. Feel all loopy and shit. Okay hitting the sack early.

Got an email today from Rainbow Consulting: Citigroup Shanghai finally signed on for Communications Training. So that’s all fine and dandy because we’ve been chasing this project since June. But during the entire process, as we inched closer and closer to a deal, I kept harassing Dan (the boss at Rainbow Consulting) to give me the terms of her offer to me. Basically, Citigroup is her client, and I’m the trainer she has sold to them for this project. Still, she never told me how much I’d get paid, what the expectations were, or any other details of my arrangement with her. So two days ago, she emails me saying we got the job and that the pay is about 1/3 what I originally quoted to her. Sure, I didn’t expect her to pay me exactly what I seeked, but come on… putting it off til the very end and then hoping that urgency will force me to accept without negotation? That’s plain stupid. I’ve gotten screwed far too many times by employers already. So the bargaining is on. We’ll see how she responds.

In other news, the ISAW Global client is working out wonderfully. My lessons with Frank are brief– only 60 minutes, but I can see that he is pleased. Last week he even mentioned wanting to have me on his staff doing recruitment for technical clients… I’m open to hearing more…

I got an email from IBM Shanghai today. They have a senior writing position. Sounds like a job for which I am well suited– editing and writing e-training documents. How cool would that be working for Big Blue?

Outside the job hunting front, we’re coming up on Zhong Qiu Jie– Mid-Autumn Festival. I liken the holiday to a Chinese Thanksgiving. It’s basically a time to gather with families to watch the full moon and eat mooncakes.

John recently got his business cards printed. So professional. He made two designs this time. Despite issues with quality control and color consistency, the cards for the most part came out okay, especially considering they cost only $6 USD/box.

John is doing well. Since moving to China, he has lost over 20 lbs, thanks to a combination of eating less, drinking less soda, and exercising. I’m so proud of Bubbey. He looks and feels so much better. New version of Bubs!

John and I FINALLY got around to getting my business cards reprinted. Well, not really reprinted–I ran out, so I just ordered another batch. Last time, we got them done at Sir Speedy. John spent hours at their copy center holding the designer’s hand. I mean, to be fair, the transition from an Adobe design file to something in hard print ha always been a challenging, tedious, confusing process. Complicate it further with communication using everyday (vs. trade-level) Chinese, and you’re pretty much doomed to fail. So anyway, the first batch was a disaster. The colors were all off, and the job was pricey as hell. This time, we went to a local print shop, interacted with a few middle men, and voila. My cards came out pretty close to the original design– still not perfect, but certainly good enough. And 100 cards only cost 45 yuan (less than 6 USD). John, aka Creative Director of Move the Brain Design Services, is now hard at work on other biz card projects. He designed one for our brother in-law Dan, who runs his own auto-detailing service–Addicted to Detail. This morning, I was on the phone back and forth with the printer/designer. After a lot of dumbing down on the phone, super slow IMing in Chinese (yeah, baby!), endless modifications to the software, and repeated uploads, I think we finally arrived on the same page. I do hope the cards come out well. We should get them tomorrow or the day after.

I wrote my first proposal this week for Move the Brain! That was fun, especially for an anal person like me. It was for that Cabot Chemical job that I mentioned earlier– the President of the company wanted some training with pronunciation, communication, and cultural shit. So I did a bunch of research on potential sources for picking up US cultural literacy… anyway, I spent forever on the proposal. Fortunately, I had the benefit of working on my awesome new laptop— so at least I didn’t suffer through random shutdowns and the like. Of course, I did spend three days installing all the software I needed, moving my files over, and searching for stupid Sony drivers (which aren’t posted on their website!). Fuckers. Back to the story though… Sheng (the President) liked my proposal. He just had two requests: 1) lesson plans one week in advance 2) a lower tutoring rate. The Chinese—they’re all about the negotiating. Everything and anything is up for debate. Gotta be ready for that… I emailed him my response. We’ll see where that goes….

Always waiting…. that goddamn Citigroup job. I emailed the consulting firm (who would hire me as their trainer, contracted to teach Citi), and Dan said the Citi Pres is reluctant… he may need some additional convincing from Citi HR and upper management. So we may not hear about the job until after the national holiday (October 1-7). Argh!

In other news, I’ve been doing some food prep lately. Honestly, I hate cooking (yes, food prep falls under cooking for me) but still, I’ll admit it’s a practical skill to have. So a few times this week, after John came home from the gym, I made sushi rolls and cooked pasta. I know, nothing fancy but hey, baby steps.

Oh! Exciting news! John discovered some of our beloved TV shows online. So, no more deprivation. We watched the first ep of Nip/Tuck season 2 last night. So good. Other shows are already in the pipeline: Newlyweds, Good Eats, and Trailer Park Boys. Yipee!

BTW, I watched/listened to a bunch of DNC speeches this week. That was fun. Check em out online at The Dem Convention. My new quote of the day (from Teresa Heinz Kerry): “There is a value in taking a stand whether or not anyone may be noticing and whether or not it is a risky thing to do. And if even those who are in danger can raise their lonely voices, isn’t more required of all of us, in this land where liberty had her birth?” Right on!

Oh and a great speech by Sen. Barack Obama. I especially like these lines: “In the end, that’s what this election is about. Do we participate in a politics of cynicism or a politics of hope? John Kerry calls on us to hope. John Edwards calls on us to hope. I’m not talking about blind optimism here—the almost willful ignorance that thinks unemployment will go away if we just don’t talk about it, or the health care crisis will solve itself if we just ignore it. No, I’m talking about something more substantial. It’s the hope of slaves sitting around a fire singing freedom songs; the hope of immigrants setting out for distant shores; the hope of a young naval lieutenant bravely patrolling the Mekong Delta; the hope of a millworker’s son who dares to defy the odds; the hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place for him, too. The audacity of hope!”

This week’s kicking off to a different beat. SABIC cancelled again for Wednesday (nothing new there), but on Monday I started tutoring Hong, the supervisor at our local beauty salon. Months ago, on learning that I was an English trainer, she expressed interest in learning English but then was disappointed my rates were so high. After some thinking, I decided to tutor pro bono. To my surprise, she reacted suspiciously. After many more months, I think she’s finally felt ready to trust me– or at least she wanted to learn English so badly, she didn’t care that it sounded too good to be true. Anyway, the lesson went well. As always, I was a little nervous beforehand. But once we got going, it went well. We only covered a little bit in two hours, but I am very pleased. You could really see her eagerness and excitement to be learning. The cool thing is that she’s been talking about it with the other ladies at work; she said three others are also interested in learning. I sort of think of this as my consolation for not finding an NGO in Shanghai. Internally, I hope that the English training will enable these young women to find better paying jobs– perhaps still in the service sector but maybe with employers whose clientele include foreigners. Establishments that predominantly service foreigners always seem like a notch above. I’m not sure what their motivations are for learning English. I tried to get a sense when I talked to Hong on Monday, but she didn’t explain. I guess it’s good enough that she just wants to learn.

I started my lessons with Frank this morning. He’s the director of ISAW Global, an executive search firm. It’s helpful making contacts with HR recruiters…. you’ll always know someone who’s up on the market. Anyway, the lesson was early– I was up at 6:30 for the class at 7:45. Wanted to make sure I got there on time. The hour went extremely well. I think he was really pleased. We covered introducing yourself at a conference/party, talking about his company in detail, talking about his background, ending conversations, and some light writing. It was pretty cool… I may consider teaching more people in the mornings. Frank was definitely more awake and interested.

What else is new? Hmm. I’m making some new friends, which is exciting for me. I went to a networking event last month and met some cool Europeans. I’ve been in contact with them via email since then. I met with Noor (Dutch) for lunch, and we will meet JB (cool French dude) for dinner/drinks this week I hope. I’ll keep you posted.

Btw, anyone shopping for a laptop? My compaq presario is still chugging along, except for that strange, random bug where it just abruptly shuts off. Yes, the unit is about 3.5 years old… long story short, John and I have been crazy researching my next notebook. The nutty thing is, I settled on three others before finally purchasing a new Sony Vaio S170 today. I can’t believe we made such a big purchase in China. I originally was holding out to buy in the US, but since warranties don’t usually apply outside the country of purchase, we were kinda stuck. Anyway, my new laptop is sweet!! But for those of you in the market, my research turned up a number of good products. Of course, I like a hi-res screen– I like to see a lot of stuff, even if they are small. That said, I give good marks to the following (in no particular order): 1) Acer Travelmate 800C 2) Gateway 450Eb 3) Samsung X30 (not available in US). There you have it. They all run near $2k. My Vaio is kickass, if you’re ok with a wide aspect 13.3-inch screen.