Ha, ha! Goodbers is back! After months of inoperability, we’ve located a new web host and this time Goodbers is in the hands of a professional. Kudos to Jason Ford at BlackMesh! He’ll keep us up and running for sure. So Goodbers itself needs some work… after putting up with the previous site’s flakiness, I ended up posting content on various sites, for example, on Blurty for my free blog and on Imagestation for my photos. Meanwhile, John established his own blog on Mac… Needless to say, our stuff is a bit unorganized at the moment. I’m currently thinking about switching to Movable Type or something a bit more sophisticated than Blurty, but my research is just beginning.

Since returning to Shanghai, I’ve been busy learning. I feel so energized and motivated. Imagine that: brain-dead, gradschool burnout Vicky learning again! It’s a wonderful feeling. CA was great that way: it really jumpstarted me again. So I just finished reading that book I mentioned last time about networking. I’m going to a Shanghai Webloggers’ Meetup tomorrow night. Gonna try and get some info about local webhosting services and about getting a .cn web address. Why, you wonder? Because last weekend, I created StarPups Shanghai, an online resource for my fellow dog lovers. Of course Bubs helped me a ton (he’s the best!) but I’m very proud. I did the colors, content, and found the graphics/photos. I still need to get input from the other dog fanatics, but that’ll come later (once they reply to my emails!). For now, I’ve posted a link to StarPups on Goodbers. What else. Oh, Thursday I’m going to the Toastmaster’s club meeting. I know, isn’t it totally bizarre that I’m going to all these meetings? Well Bubs gonna be gone for five weeks next month so I might as well find new buddies and stay busy.

Ok, off to take a break from the computer. I really am on this little thing 24-7. Addicted to the net. Well I’d love to hear your feedback on my site. I do hope to eventually add a mailing list feature or forum…

So I had all these plans for the new year right? Well the gym isn’t happening (I dunno what my deal is, but I just have a strong aversion to going…); however, I have been taking walks with John. He got this Polar watch last time we were in the States, and now he’s obsesed with getting his target heartrate or whatever. I’m happy that he’s really into exercising now, but sometimes it seems a bit much. Better than the other way around I suppose.

I went to Toastmasters on Thursday night, but the meeting was canceled and they didn’t tell people. Nice. That’s a terrific first impression in my book. Met some people– they are all locals. Seemed very nice and professional, but sometimes I wonder if Toastmasters here is more about honing their oral English than about improving my public speaking. I dunno, seems too demanding to expect that it can do both for native English and native Chinese speakers.

I attended an American Women’s Club of Shanghai Meet and Greet earlier this week. It was well, a lot of intimidating middle-aged, uppercrust women– really well-dressed with lots of bling… I know, I can be so judgemental. They were certainly nice enough; sometimes I just feel like an outsider– I just can’t relate or maybe I just don’t want to relate. But I suppose networking is all about relating right? Regardless, the best thing that came out of this meeting was that I sat down at a table with three other women, and all of them had doggies. I was so psyched. I went home and went on and on about it until John convinced me to setup a Shanghai dog website. So StarPups Shanghai is in the works. I have written and pulled together a good bit of content, but I’m struggling with the aesthetic parts of it. Mainly, I need a logo and color scheme. I chose a black background with gray and some orange, but John says it’s too serious. To further his point, yesterday, my friend Amanda asked if I ever wear colors. 🙂 I can’t help it: I’m just drab and depressing that way. Anyway, stay tuned. I hope to launch StarPups soon. Of course, special thanks to Bubs, the star coder. He doesn’t believe in using WYSIWYGs so he’s gotten several good laughs from my coding mess… I’m trying to learn.

Oh, I also emailed the Women’s club about volunteering for Lifeline, this telephone hotline for expats. I know, I don’t really want to help expats given that there are so many locals who have far more serious issues, but I do want to get some phone counseling experience. To volunteer with Lifeline, you have to undergo 24 hours of training, so I think that would be valuable for me, if I want to get into domestic violence work.

Job-wise, I’ve decided to focus less on trying to fill my schedule with full-time work (whether it’s teaching or some shitty IBM-like job) and more on doing little gigs here and there. My only exception is this Microsoft job. MS is a 5-minute bike ride from my place, and I dunno, somehow I’m hopeful that there is a big Fortune 500 company out there that does things right. I was disappointed with Big Blue, but maybe Gates won’t let me down. I like MS products. Sorry Macophiles and MS-phobes. So the interview for that job is next month. I haven’t heard any details except that it’s a tech writing position. Other than that, I’m looking at some part-time editing work.

This weekend has been really cold again. What’s new, right? Yesterday, I woke up to snow and ice. People were out taking pictures and someone made a bunch of snowpeople. The snow in SH rarely sticks, so this was apparently a day to remember. In the evening, John and I went to Amanda and Enrico’s. John set up their wifi, and afterwards, we went to a house party. Ugh. Yeah, it was like a smoky, overpacked, college kids’ thing. At least that’s how it felt. It was all about yelling at the person right next to you to hold a conversation. We left as quickly as possible (but still not soon enough). Yeah, I know. I’m supposed to practice my social/networking skills. Well, sometimes, you gotta pick who’s worth it. I’m into making professional contacts, not club night buddies. Writing this, I suppose my absorbtion of Lowndes’ “How to Speak to Anyone” wasn’t very successful. Well, I’m trying: I mean, I did my share of small talk. But come on! I have standards. 🙂

John and I finished our final week in CA without much fanfare. The last weekend in January, we drove down to San Diego to visit Karen and Joel. San Diego is a cute lil’ place. The city is actually very populous and it has a heavy DoD influence; still, you’d never guess.

Joel and Karen have the sweetest 2-bedroom condo, just down the street from Whole Foods. A quick walk to a downtown with tasty food joints. It was so sunny and beautiful all weekend. CA definitely scores high in the weather category, especially southern CA. Yeah, I know, it’s not big shock especially with the song about it never raining in southern CA… So sue me. I’m a cynic til I see things myself.

Just a few days before we flew out, I developed a crazy full-body rash. I still have no idea what it was— I thought maybe it was the anesthesia from my dental work (I visited the dentish THREE days in a row!) or a new makeup I was trying… I dunno, but it was unbearable. I tried cortisone cream, neosporin, zinc oxide grease, everything. To survive the plane ride, I took a Benadryl which knocked me out completely. But once we arrived in Shanghai, it recurred. I am doing better now… yesterday was my first day free from the itchies. I now suspect it was the laundry detergent I used in LA. I seem to be fine now. Cross your fingers.

So Chinese New Year was a little more sedate this year. We were still suffering from jetlag, so we conked out early. But the holiday lasts like 15 days here so when it’s not raining or snowing (which seems to have been rare these days), the Chinese pyros emerge to wreak havoc on the city. Actually, John and I enjoy the pyrotechnics all over the city, including in our community courtyards, but the dogs still shudder and run for a corner.

I’ve made some Chinese New Year resolutions. I’m going to refocus on learning Chinese and honing my networking skills. I already finished reading Leil Lowndes’ “How to Talk to Anyone.” Excellent and very informative. I’m going to the XuJiaHui Toastmasters’ meeting this Saturday. And I’ve begun yet another round of emailing China NGOs. I also ordered Iris Chang’s book, “The Chinese in America.” I’d like to get into reading. There are so many areas I want to improve. I need to start exercising more regularly. I want to study fundraising and Raiser’s Edge software. I want to play more guzheng. Argh. I need more discipline. 🙁

Okay, well it’s Valentine’s Day today. John’s at the gym. I’m going to tidy up the place and try to make a nice lunch. Wish me luck.

Well I was guilt-tripped into a trip back East. Fortunately, I was smart enough to know that four days is more than sufficient for QT with the fam. Essentially, I was my retired parents’ bitch for the week. My trip was timed ever so carefully, falling right in between two snowstorms. Monday morning, when they picked me up at 7 am from Dulles, it was butt-ass freezing cold. I had to endure all the parental nagging right off the bat: put on this sweater, wear this coat, put on these gloves. Jesus Christ. My coat is in my duffle bag; just let me get it out please. The drive to Frederick was thankfully quiet, and then as soon as I got home, I had the list to tend to.

Well at least I can pride myself in getting shit done. My dad got yet another HP laptop (I hate HP), so I had to install software, set up email, move all his files. Meanwhile, his desktop harddrive went kaput and his other laptop kept reverting to its old issues. You’d think my dad is a computer whiz with all the equipment he has at home, including the wifi but he’s not. At all. In other duties, I was strongly advised (i.e. forced) by my parents to get together with John’s parents for lunch. I know, it didn’t kill me and they are nice people, but do I really have to do lunch with the in-laws when I’m spouseless on the East coast? Other PA tasks included cell phone shopping, rebate processing, cancelling Verizon services, faxing, making service complaint phone calls, collecting/mailing trade-in phones, checking frequent flyer balances, etc. Yup, a whole host of fun shit.

Then to top that off, I got an earful about so and so’s kids getting PhDs, MDs, and JDs. Well sorry dad, your kids are a pair of losers. Sorry I don’t want to be an elitist Republican who believes that everything I have I earned all by my very self. Ugh. Needless to say, the rest of my stay was full of explosions. Can’t help it. I’m not going to fly all the way to the East coast to be your bitch only to have you poke and prod and compare me to your friends’ kids. I’m not your fucking prizehorse. I’m not your fucking Lexus to show off around the neighborhood. Whatever. You can’t get through the dense skulls of Chinese parents. You just can’t. They NEVER get it.

So I’m back in LA now, in the arms of my loving and supportive husband. John’s the best. 🙂 And we’re heading back Saturday. I’m looking forward to reuniting with my puppies. Now that I’ve got a few episodes of the Dog Whisperer under my belt, I’m ready to test out some new training tactics.

John and I had a terrific weekend. On Saturday, we drove out to Santa Barbara, a quaint lil’ town on the coast. Went to the farmer’s market where there was excellent produce. We went crazy and bought roasted almonds, blood oranges, naval oranges, raisins, the whole shebang. Unfortunately, we had a major lunchplace miss– some deli shop that made awful sandwiches. Still, we had a good time walking around. Traffic back to LA wasn’t the greatest and John is especially impatient these days with his aggressive driving, but we made it back to Oakwood okay.

On Sunday, we went down a few exits on 101 and hit the Getty Museum. Man, they have some kind of endowment: the place was amazing. Check out the pictures. I keep saying, I just have to work for a nonprofit like the Getty Museum, then my friends will all be wanting to job shadow me (instead of the other way around). John and I mostly hung around outside near the fountains and gardens. We’re not really into paintings and sculptures much. We’re retarded like that. 🙂

I know, I know. I’ve been on the west coast now for two weeks and I’ve totally slacked with Goodbers. Sorry bout that, but I’ve been damn busy.

So the apartment in LA (Sherman Oaks suburbs actually) is quite the cutsy studio. Love the Murphy’s bed… I think I wanna live in a studio just so I can use one. As usual, Metapa was good to us. Nice apartment with tennis courts, a gym, hot tub, heated pool, the works. After the first week in LA, we drove up last weekend to San Francisco. Susan came out to hang, and we met up with my college bud Josh as well as John’s college roommate Bri. I had a lot of fun getting together and hanging out like the days of old. SF is definitely better the second time around. My first impression (during our honeymoon in April 2003) wasn’t that great. The city was much colder than I had imagined (I was wishing for FL beach weather), and the bums sorta got to me. Fast forward a year and a half later and it’s still colder than I had imagined (still, FL beach weather) but at least Shanghai’s prepped me well for the panhandlers. Josh took us around and we saw some terrific sites in SF and across the bay in Marin County.

There are many things to like about SF– the mountains, the waters, the dogs, the progressive politics, the organic goods, the diversity… But SF is expensive as hell, and a bit yuppie for me. I know, it’s like the kettle calling the teapot black, but hey, I try to live modestly and keep my feet planted. John’s the Starbucks aficionado.

I’ve walked through Chinatown every day this week; disappointingly, I have yet to hear some freaking Mandarin. It’s all Cantonese, which I think sounds like clucking chickens . Okay, not that bad but certainly not as melodious as the other billion dialects. It seems John is itching to get back to the States. He wants his Lexus convertible and fast internet. What a sucker for the cush lifestyle. It’s not that I don’t enjoy luxuries– I just don’t want to have to NEED them. Anyway, this week in SF, I’ve been taking some classes/seminars on NGO stuff: grantseeking, proposal writing, fundraising, etc. Very general but quite informative and good. I’m learning all kinds of interesting factoids. For example, in 2003 Americans gave $240 billion to charities. Of that amount, individual donations accounted for 75%! Can you believe? Corporations only account for about 5%. I think it’s pathetic. And of the individual contributions, 60% came from households earning less than $50k/year. How’s that for Reagan’s trickle-down economics bullshit. I also met with some SF NGOs this trip. Super cool peeps out there and it feels great to connect. I’m realizing that networking skills are super money for NGO work. I gotta work on that. I wanna put together some elevator spiel. Any of you got one? How do those things go anyway? I’m enjoying my time here– feel like I’ve learned a lot. Plus it’s always cool to meet up with like-minded peeps.

Ok well I’m getting tired. Flying back to Sherman Oaks tomorrow night after a full day of seminars. I’m looking forward to a warm weekend in LA.

I know you’re already sick of my gripes about the SH cold. Sorry, just one last time: BUUUURRRR! It’s fucking freezing. I know, you think I’m just being cheap and not turning up the heat. Well let me set things straight: John’s no penny pincher and I’m telling you, we have the heat on full blast. Doesn’t help. You gotta just experience to know what the hell I’m talkin’ about.

Lucky for you, the complaining will stop soon: we’re heading to LA tomorrow. That’s right, land of the stars. John’s company is based in CA (San Francisco, now) but they have the development team in LA. Closed up the VA office a few months ago. So, this will be my first time to LA. I just got news yesterday that Brad and Jen are done for… guess that paves the way for me to hatch a plan. Hee, hee. I know, I’m such a groupie. Well there’s a ton of speculation, but I think it’s the kids issue. I have to say, don’t harass a woman who ain’t ready to have kids, okay? Yes, I’m a bit biased: 1) I’m female 2) I’m getting my tubes tied ASAP and John’s getting snipped. No kids for us, man! DINK (or SINK) forever!

So the sad news about the trip (besides the damage being in LA is going to do to my self-esteem) is that I’m gonna abandon my babies once again– for four fucking weeks. I’ve been all stressed out lately, because I had a tiff with my boarders. Long story short, I had reason to believe the dogs weren’t getting taken outside multiple times a day, so the thought of my housebroken dogs (they NEVER pee inside) being driven to pee in their kennel was just driving me mad. Hopefully, it’s all worked out now though. After numerous calls and emails. Sigh. I’m exhausted from the stress of it all.

So while I’m in LA, I’m gonna connect with the Center for Pacific Asian Families, a domestic violence shelter. I was hoping to attend their 65-hour training, but it spans two months. Either way, I’m looking foward to learning more about NGOs committed to helping the AP community. After a few days getting over the jetlag and settling in, John and I are driving up to San Francisco. His company headquarters are there, and well, we’ve been toying with the possibility of SF being our next destination (should we go back to the States). It seems to offer many of the things we want: multicultural population, techie stuff, dog friendly peeps, fresh organic produce, and good weather. We’ll see though. I certainly don’t feel as safe in the US as in China… And though sorry to burst the bubble, but the US government ain’t so honest and law-abiding. Yup, our very own are also guilty of censorship, corruption, and deception. Yeah, I am still on my anti-whatever spin. Can’t help it. You listen to Democracy Now and you’ll understand.

So back to my itinerary, yeah. Going to SF to meet up with my attorney-friend Josh from Duke. Mr. Hunky Dory. While I’m in SF, I’m gonna attend some free training seminars at the Foundation Center to learn about NGO stuff– grant writing, fundraising, budgeting, etc. Should be cool. I hope the weather cooperates in CA though. Been reading about a lot of rain lately. 😛

Oh, last thing. After weeks of god-awful, torturous research, I finally purchased a tri-band phone so I can be connected anywhere in the world. I actually ended up getting John’s model— a year later. I know, we’re such dorks. But hey, I like being on the same team. 🙂 So I will have a cell phone. Of course rates will be pricey since it’s pay as you go, but anyhow, let’s connect somehow while I’m Stateside. Okay gotta get back to packing. Later folks!

Oh by the way, anyone interested in buying my old laptop? Check out my posting on ebay. Yup, I’m back to feeding my Ebay addiction now that I’m gonna be in the US for a few weeks. Awww yeah!

Yeah, John and I were in Thailand when the tsunamis hit the day after Christmas. Thankfully, we weren’t in Phuket yet: our flight was slated to fly into Phuket that evening, and when we arrived at the ticket counter the agent didn’t even say a thing. We hadn’t heard news of the event all day. Coincidentally, an American behind us asked us if we were crazy, because only journalists and aid workers were traveling there. Then we pieced together the crowds huddled around the tv screen in the airport (but we couldn’t understand the scale of anything since the news was in Thai). We decided to cancel our flight and stay in Bangkok.

So I guess you could say we missed it by a day. We were really lucky. The rest of our time in Bangkok was pretty low-key. I couldn’t stop watching the BBC (even though it rarely had new information). When we forced ourselves to turn off the tv, we just walked around the city. Just weren’t really in the mood for museums and stuff. But we enjoyed walking around in the sunshine (90+ degrees) and eating fantastic international foods (why can’t they get it right in Shanghai?).

John and I gave blood for the first time. The Thai Red Cross was doing a blood drive for the tsunami victims. I was fine at first, but the longer we waited, the more nervous I got. I’m not a fan of needles drawing my blood (shots I can do). I started eyeing the operation through the windows and I noticed this one nurse was so unsure of herself. She would tie up the arm and then nervously move the cotton gauge above the piercing spot, then below, then above, then below before finally sticking in the needle. As I got closer in the queue, I kept hoping not to get her. Just my luck, I got her. Fortunately, she had practiced on enough people before me and it went fine. John, on the other hand, was doing fine until they took out the needle. Then, he almost fainted. They lifted his legs. He was fine after.

So if you haven’t already donated, here’s your chance. There are plenty of NGO’s to choose from.

We returned to Shanghai New Year’s eve. It had snowed and iced for the first time in six years. The road conditions set off a bunch of car accidents and we didn’t get home until late. By the time the dogs were delivered, we were exhausted. Went to bed before ringing in the new year. Oh well.

IBM E-Learning Services got word earlier this month that our department would be relocating to Wai Gao Qiao (Free Trade Zone) WAAAAAAAAY out in the boonies. So the higher ups’ selling points included individual cubicles in a newly constructed space with windows, cheap but healthy and tasty cafeteria food, an outdoor environment with clean air (as opposed to the polluted city air) and convenient shuttle bus locations. Right. And the bad news is? My 30-50 minute roundtrip commute jumps to 3+ hours. Yeeeaaah. Needless to say, the next day I notified my PM that I was outta there. I mean, I didn’t even get to speaking frankly about the job itself (unchallenging and inefficient, exacerbated by shitty resources)…. I just explained that I simply am unwilling to commute that far. It’s a lifestyle choice. Even if I could work part of the week downtown, I’m still not doing it. Not only is the move completely illogical for my position because I can do everything more effectively and efficiently from my office at home, but it would require that I drop all my teaching gigs, which I started months ago. I enjoy teaching my clients. Teaching is just such a slice of work heaven. I do my own thing, and my students are cool people. We actually connect. Plus, at the FTZ, there are no guarantees the facilities there will actually be conducive to productivity. Yeah sure, I’ll have my own space, but are we getting a new server to replace our one that has 50 GB of space for our staff of 20? What about our printer? Will we get one that is higher capacity and does not freeze/jam all the damn time? Who knows.

Interestingly, I was told today that another department in IBM has a tech writer opening. I’m going to try and interview for it. At least, that section will stay in downtown. Pay isn’t as good but I’ll see. Could work out.

Anyway, I guess everything balances out. John gets off between Xmas and New Year’s. We’re going to Thailand– Bangkok and then Phuket. Should be fun. We’re gonna load up on cheap massages. After that, we’re going to the US (again!) West Coast for his work. Four weeks. I imagine I’ll do some info interviews with companies/NGOs based in LA (with work in China) and travel around. But I dunno, it’ll be hard to do East Coast when the West Coast is so much warmer in the winter.

Ok well things have been really hectic with work wrapping up, job hunting, and travel planning. I’m wiped. Ran all over town today running visa errands for John. Went to the Entry/Exit Bureau, waited an hour only to be told that I didn’t have the right docs. Starving, we then got stuck in a jerky cab that made me motion sick. Hitting the sack early tonight.

Three weeks ago, Chinese-American author Iris Chang took her life. I haven’t read any of her books in their entirety (mostly because I am afraid to…), but I feel such a loss. She was 37 years old. I mentioned Ms. Chang previously in my blog after I came across one of her books, The Rape of Nanking, at the Foreign Languages Bookstore. I remember how that day I spent hours reading excerpts and thumbing through pages and pages of horrific images depicting Japanese atrocities committed against Chinese civilians.

When I initially heard news of her death, I found it ironic. After all here’s a young woman, born in a wealthy developed country, intelligent, talented, educated, successful. She reported on people whose lives were rife with hardship, violence, tragedy. How could she then turn around and take her privileged life for granted? It seemed so counter-intuitive… Yet, it also made sense. As someone who has difficulty compartmentalizing my own emotions, I can imagine the overwhelming mental burden Iris must have endured from her discoveries. Humankind is inherently evil. Life’s a real bitch.

I always waver back and forth on these thoughts. In recent months, I’ve come closer to taking them as truths. There is just so much shit going on in the world. I try to keep up with the news, because I don’t want to be ignorant. But knowing reality and the truth is so frustrating and discouraging. Sudan. Prison abuses. Israel/Palestine. Another mining explosion in China. Iraq. How can one maintain optimism and hope in this fucked up world? In recent weeks, I’ve started having trouble waking up in the mornings. Last month, I was up before 7 every day working gung ho. I guess at that time, my sense of purpose gained from working for Big Blue had not yet worn off. Now I find myself hitting snooze repeatedly. I have a disgustingly fortunate and prvileged life. I know that, but awareness doesn’t do shit. I need to do more. I need to do more to change things, to make things better. But what? And how?