Detox

Detox

John and I are on detox. I started following a coworker’s daughter– she’s a nutrition/fitness blogger. Shit. I went to Sprouts last week and bought some ridiculous $12 jar of nut butter (Nutzo brand), plus trendy crap like almond milk, chia seeds, and goji berries. I dunno what this expensive shit is, but whatever, I’m just going to follow the program blindly. Last weekend, I made some “overnight oats.” The health fanatics online were raving about that stuff like it was deep-dish pizza or something. So I made it, soaked that slop overnight, had it the next morning, and it was disgusting. I forced myself to eat it, and then I got a tummy ache. Was in bed with the heating pad on for 3 hours. But I’m a stubborn ass. I didn’t want to throw it out, so I had the remainder of that gunk the next morning. It tasted better! Still not the same as pizza but edible. I figure once I wean my system off junk (at the moment, I’m cramming Cheetos down my piehole), I’ll eventually train my body to enjoy this bird food.

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