Grumpy Smurf

Grumpy Smurf

So last week I learned of a new hair coloring trick: hair chalk. Yes, it sounded simple enough. Color chunks of hair using pastels. As usual, I did my due diligence: read up online and watched YouTube vids. Seemed super easy. Went out and bought myself a fun Smurfy blue.

The next morning, thinking I only needed ten minutes to get this show on the road, I was sadly mistaken. First, the blue streaks went onto my hair rather easily. But the blue powder also adhered easily to my fingers and the bathroom sink, floor, my shirt, everywhere…. yes, I know chalk is very powdery, but I didn’t anticipate this level of mess. None of this was mentioned or shown in the YouTube vids!!

By the time I’d gotten to the office, my fingers were blue, and I had chalk on the back of my shirt, not to mention all around my neck. Yes, I looked like a jaundice case but blue. Or a bruised/battered person.

And that was only the beginning to my Friday. Later that morning, our site database at work got hacked. Again. Yup, for the third time in seven days. Tech support was taking forever to restore my shit, so I spent the rest of the day creating workarounds to my dynamic webpages. By the time I’d left the office, I had to go buy groceries for my birthday party the very next day (John’s office move ran into its own share of snags). Errands, cleaning, laundry. Yup, so I had to get my shit done. Made two dishes for the party.

The next morning, at 5 am, in my quasi-sleep state, my left thumb rubbed the bottom of my ring finger expecting to meet my wedding ring. Nope. Wasn’t there, and immediately, I opened my eyes. I turned to my nightstand and patted the surface in the dark. No ring. Got out of bed and started searching the usual spots: bathroom, high boy, everywhere. Ten minutes later, I started to panic because I had NO recollection of removing my ring at all. The day before was so damn frazzling as I tried to get shit back online and deal with my Smurf illness. Ugh. So I started rummaging like crazy, and John woke up to the commotion. He started helping me search. Nothing. I then went to the office to see if I had taken it off at my desk. NOTHING. Fuck!! I was REALLY starting to freak out… I dunno: sentimental value I guess. I’ve had it since 2002.

Returned home at 7 am, and I was on the verge of a meltdown. My mind was blazing ahead thinking about how my party was ruined because I was going to be so pre-occupied, and then minutes later, Bubbey came over and said he had a bday present!! Thank fucking god. I dunno how it was in the bed, but that’s where he found it. Shiit, could I have taken it off in my sleep? I have no fucking idea. Lucky for him, that ONE move got him out of the doghouse for skirting nearly all his duties for my bday party.

My party later that day went well. But shiit hosting people is a ton of work. So much cleaning involved. But we had a great time. Interestingly, someone quizzed us:

1. What’s your favorite animal and why?
2. What’s your second favorite animal and why?
3. How do you describe the ocean?
4. You wake up and are on an island. What do you do/feel?
5. You are suddenly in a room with just four walls, one containing a nail.

Did you take the quiz? I’ll interpret your answers in the next posting. 🙂

What else? On Sunday, I was back on Sugar. Damn beotch horse (but she sure is pretty). I sweated my brains out riding that unruly horse. Shiit, when she’d run, she’d run fast and take very tight turns (I swear she was trying to throw me off). I’ve transitioned into my real cowboy boots now, so those pointed toes sure came in handy sliding my boots back into the stirrups as Sugar thrashed me around. But hell if I will be outlasted by a horse…

I did come off of her that afternoon with my shirt completely drenched. Scary and yet oh so thrilling. Am I gonna become an adrenaline junkie? It’s possible. 🙂

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