Omg, I am exhausted. I was up past 3 a.m. over-thinking all kinds of shit. Man, all these fucking self-discovery/exploratory exercises and readings are making me crazy!! I thought I was pretty sure about myself before, but now after reading test results and stuff about how ESTJs interact with people, how they handle friendships, how they function in a work setting, blah, blah, blah, now I’m second guessing myself with how I interpret relationships and situations and interactions, you know? Fuck, and I think it’s only going to get worse before it gets better. Interestingly, my friend B is ESTJ also. So bizarre, because I think he and I are TOTALLY different personalities!! Like he’s always happy, patient, tolerant, easy-going… Wth?
John said a funny thing to me yesterday: he said that I shouldn’t be so concerned about all these personality tests and putting myself into these classifications. He said I’m an extremely complex person– a conundrum, and I can’t be squished into these limiting boxes. Haha. So euphemistic. That’s right, I’m an individual, goddammit!!!
So anyway… I went to my first “Uncover your Calling” workshop on Wed night. Ahh-mazing. I felt so moved by the facilitator. She just had such a compelling way of explaining things. But yeah, the class has a shitload of homework. And hard, thought-provoking questions too. Like what are 20 things you love to do and what qualities about those activities make you enjoy them? What are 20 things you hate to do and what qualities are missing from those activities that make you dislike them? Then there are a bunch of free-writing exercises. Who writes stuff without ANY editing at all? Just fifteen minutes of constant hand movement, she says. What??? Completely foreign to me.
This weekend is chill for us. I’m going to a friend’s house/pool, riding, then Hubster and I will probably both do some work. Maybe go for a bike ride too. I’ve been meaning to catch Miss Saigon in Palo Alto. The play closes on Sunday. We’ll see. I love that musical even though it has an awful “woman sacrifices all” message.
Last night I booked tickets for Seattle in June. Damn fares have been fluctuating all over the place, but after monitoring for weeks, I finally bit the bullet. We’re going to see my bud G and her hubby J. They recently bought a gorgeous mid-century house and got a new puppy. I’m going to take Yuki too so we can jam.
Seriously, how are we nearing June already. Need to get my shit figured out for realz.