Monthly Archives: October 2011

The Restless Mind

The Restless Mind

In my previous post, I neglected to mention that I actually had THREE encounters with religious fanatics in NINE days. First, the eye candy I was hoping for on the flight over took the form of a frightened 70+ y/o Korean lady. Her son in San Diego was supposed to fly to SFO and accompany her to Seoul for knee operation. Well, flaky flake missed his flight into SFO, leaving her to make the long haul all alone. She was in a lot of pain, so for a few hours, I had her legs propped up in my lap. She claimed I was God’s answer to her fears and prayers. And then she proceeded to pour out all her judgmental, righteous religious beliefs even after I told her I didn’t believe. Yup, I thought I was gonna get 12+ hours to mentally prepare for my own family drama. Guess it wasn’t part of her God’s plan.

Second, I had my own brother take me to that cult meeting and triple-team me. Fucking A.

Third, when I went to see my monk uncle who lives out in the middle of no where (plus, I got car sick from about 2.5 hours with my aunt’s herky jerky driving + off-roading), he kept greeting me with “amitofu” and prayer hands. Then, he presented me with a necklace inscribed with the Buddhist chant. I was so irritated with people trying to impose this shit on me, that I refused to accept the necklace. I said, I could not accept it, because it was to be worn by someone who believes, and I don’t believe. Sure, this was borderline rude but whatever, I wasn’t about to get pressured into going through the motions when they were totally counter to my own atheism.

Anyway, after all that drama settled, I had a major freakout the day before my departure. I thought I had left my passport at my parents’ place in Taipei, but when I returned there the day before my flight, it was no where to be found. So then I called a bunch of my cousins and aunts with whom I had stayed and asked them to search. They called the bus, the rail, the metro lost and founds. In the end, dad arrived and discovered it stashed with his own important docs. He’d mistaken my passport portfolio for his own and hid everything away. Holy shit. I nearly died at the thought of having to re-apply for a passport and extend my stay. By then, I was so ready to go home.

Thankfully, I made it back home safely.  I’m easing back into my routine, but damn, the freaking temperatures are throwing me off! Not really, but it’s a good excuse! John and I stopped going to the mindful meditation class we had started in October: it just felt like too much of a chore, and we didn’t like the verbose classmates, and we didn’t make time outside of class to practice… so that coping mechanism for stress isn’t being developed at the moment.

All this while my mind feels more restless than usual…. I think because we’ve cut back on friend activities during the week (everyone’s too busy), and I’ve been spending more time alone, maybe? Yeah lots of me time these days for shopping, making my Halloween costume, going to the movies, going to tech events, soaking in the hot tub, making dinner, folding laundry… need to convert some of that energy into something uber productive…



Almost 2:30 a.m., and I am in the foulest mood. Thanks to a flaker, shit fell through at work (first day I’m away) and I had to backfill using the slow-ass VPN.

Then earlier tonight, my brother asked me to accompany him to his Buddhist meditation class. I was open to checking out this “amazingness,” so fine. Well, after the 2-hr lecture, I got fucking thrown into a conference room and triple teamed to get converted. I am NOT kidding.

“Don’t you believe my story of reformation?”
“Don’t you believe that Buddha purged all my bad karma and protected me from attacks by ghosts who used to haunt me?”
“Don’t you trust that your brother knows what’s good for you?”

Meanwhile, I had just arrived yesterday, got 4 hrs of sleep, spent all day out with dad, and now I had to defend myself in Chinese, using religious terms I’d just heard for the first time ever during the lecture!

OMFG, I was livid!!  And afterwards, when I told him I felt bullied, he had the nerve to say that the people weren’t pushy at all. He insisted they were sincere when they said they cared bc I’m a fellow human being. Seriously, this has got to be secret footage for a bloopers show, right?