John turned me on to Dr. Phil recently… Yeah, I know, Oprah gave her seal of approval years ago way before he had his own show; my only explanation is that I’m always about 10 years behind on pop culture. Seriously. Felicity, Sex in the City, Entourage, and many more I’m sure. Anyway, my exposure to Dr. Phil comes at a good time considering that I placed a call to the counseling hotline just this past weekend. In short, I’m fed up with my depressed friends. I don’t know what it is, but I’m like a magnet for miserable people. I’ve tried so many things with so many of them… but as I have been told before, change has to come from them. And I have to stop trying to find the answers.

Long story short, the phone counselor suggested two things: 1) stop the endless research for resources 2) don’t suggest anything 3) ask what they intend to do about their unhappiness 4) try to reconnect in common areas. So 1-3 is actually a different method for me, so I should give it a try. Maybe it’ll be less frustrating, because I won’t feel like I have wasted my energies thinking up options. Number 4 is going to be tough… especially since two decades have passed since we were in the same state. I don’t know what we have in common anymore.

But back to Dr. Phil. He’s pretty direct, and I like that. But in tonight’s episode, I didn’t get his position, backing a 21-year old mother (instead of her own very organized mother) in keeping custody of her 2 kids. The chick had issues: I mean, she dropped out of school, she was hanging with some ex-con dude who chain smoked around her kids, she had horrible relationships with her family even though her parents were raising her kids now… God, she was just a fucking mess. Sure, she deserves a chance to get back on track, but why should her kids have to hang around waiting for her to get her shit together. Either have your shit together or your kids should be cared for under more stable conditions. Anyway,the episode is to be continued, which means I’ll never know what happens.

But Dr. Phil made an interesting comment. He said many of his clients ask, “How do you know who’s a loyal friend?” His answer? Loyal friends come through the door when everyone else leaves. Then he said, you don’t have to agree with everything someone does in order to support them. So now I’m totally confused. Which is which? On one hand, change comes from within, so if someone doesn’t want to change, what can I do? On the other hand, if I feel I’ve done all that I can and I decide to just lie low, am I being disloyal? Ugh. Too much emotional drama.

I should be cramming my Spanish…