Why hello there, stranger. Why this repeated neglect? I have no worthy explanation. I just haven’t been feeling myself. I recently switched to this flex work schedule, and while initially, I felt like a rockstar getting in early and leaving “normal time,” of late I’ve been feeling fatigued. Perhaps I’m due for another visit to the doctor, because although my body is probably its healthiest (by the numbers) since high school, I somehow feel more fragile. I’ve noticed, for example, that now when I get sick, my entire body just goes limp, like I’m on muscle relaxer or something. It’s the oddest thing. Take today, for instance. I started developing a sore throat yesterday at work. Sneezing, burning eyes. Overnight, I didn’t sleep well at all, thanks to Remy’s sick poopies. I also had some disturbing work-related dreams with office politics (but I’m not even involved with office politics in real life!). By morning, my throat was so sore, I couldn’t even swallow. And the rest of my body was too damn tired to even move. And this has happened the last few times I’ve gotten sick. Something is not right.
Is something troubling me? Nothing outside the ordinary. Work wise, sure, I have those insecurities I mentioned before about staying ahead of the curve and remaining relevant… but whatever, not like I’m losing sleep over it. I suppose I’ve been thinking a lot about my friends. So many of them are unhappy… for various reasons: some are alone, some have shitty jobs, some are overweight, some have addiction issues, some are in relationships that are volatile or incomplete. I struggle with how to help them take action and feel better. I suggest therapy services I found that are free/low-cost. I suggest rec classes through the local community parks & rec departments to jumpstart exercise/fitness. I mention nutritionists to help them learn new ways of eating. I invite them to go skating/swimming/biking with me. NOTHING happens. I’m not upset because they aren’t listening to me. I don’t claim to be the authority. But what does piss me off is their inaction, their CHOICE to not do anything about their unhappiness. Yes, sometimes, you just need to wallow in self-pity. But for how long, really? Days, weeks, months, years?? The bottom line is this. If you’re done, then end it. If you are not going to end it and you’re unhappy, then do SOMEthing because really, what’s the point of living otherwise? And no, this isn’t some passive-aggressive attempt to send a message to my friends who are frustrating me. Believe me, I have already voiced this directly. And they know what they need to do.
Anyway. I’m home today. Felt crazy weak and tired this morning, but now I’m feeling better. John takes wonderful care of me when I’m sick. He made me a grilled cheese with his homemade bread, and he’s also making homemade chicken soup. In the future, I should get sick once a month just to lap up this luxury.
Btw Kat, the cranberry juice DOES work wonders for the sore throat! Thanks for the tip!