Monthly Archives: March 2009

Emotionally Drained

Emotionally Drained

OMG, so frickin tired. Just wrapped three full days at a workshop on digital storytelling. I’m not sure what I expected when I registered a few weeks ago; all I know is, I did not expect emotional drainage. Seriously, day one, we went around the table and most people had tear-jerker stories. Meanwhile, I was the lame person who entered thinking I was going to produce something practical for work. Needless to say, I wrote three different scripts, and in the end, I still wasn’t completely happy. But boy, the others in the class just blew me away. Here I was thinking I was going to be a decent storyteller since I had years of experience with blogging, but boy is blogging different from storytelling. My second story, the instructor was like, “Why are you telling this story?” Uh, because it’s an interesting observation/experience that I think is funny. No go. Class was damn hard, but thank goodness it’s over. Three whole days.

Tomorrow, I’m working out all the angst by busting out the xlider skates again. It’s been way too long. I need to exercise. Feeling gross and bloated.

Oh, I never did share the details of my makeover. Long story short, I had done so much research prior to the makeover that the day of, I probably came across like a know-it-all. I know, I thought I was totally ready to be molded, but I didn’t expect my homework to be so wrong. Seriously. The most disappointing part of it all was the fact that, I had already started on my own path to reinvention and to be told the changes I enacted were actually “unsuitable” for my body was just hard to take. Not that she was mean about it in any way, it’s just that I had done a lot of research, and I couldn’t believe it was all done for shit. Anyway, my request for a hair chop was denied, and apparently, pencil skirts are my match. I’ve already cleaned out my closet of ill-fitting crap. And here I was thinking I had come such a long way since the days of Pamela… looks like I have a much longer way to go.

I still haven’t worn my makeover outfit to work. Too wussy. The stylist made me get TIGHT stretch pants. One day soon I’ll squeeze into them for work. Need to build a little confidence first. Just feels so damn tight, especially for work… Thankfully, the entire experience really got Grace into the shopping bug so we’re going to hit the stores. John’s totally relived for the break.

What else. Spanish class started this month. Teacher is awesome. My progress is slow-going, but I hope to continue on to Spanish II next semester. I also recently found my Pimsleur Spanish CD, and I think that will round out my learnings.

Ok well I’m pretty damn beat. After my class finished, my drive home took an hour and then John and I headed into SF for another show of Get Mortified. Goddamnit, I sure wish I had some good content from the younger years. Would be so much fun to ridicule my dork years.

Crashed and Burned

Crashed and Burned

Hello, hello. Well, despite John’s warning not to “fly too close to the sun,” I did so anyway. Consequently, my wax wings melted, and I crashed and burned. First, Facebook. I know, I already explained that I had OD’d on it. I almost wonder if I should just cancel the account, because frankly, people (acquaintances mainly) are starting to annoy me. For example, there’s this acquaintance from my younger years… nearly every evening her post says she’s bored. I mean, I’ve read that exact status at least 4 times from her. Please. If you have nothing interesting to say, don’t waste the space. And Jesus Christ, if you’re that bored, go DO something. Ugh, something there is pushing my hot buttons for sure. But then the other irksome thing is, I recently got all these new FB friend requests, major blasts from my college past. And I kept getting messages like what’s up, I want to know what’s going on, blah, blah. So I took a few days to reply. I mean, although we had been close in college, we had been out of touch for practically a decade so what was the huge hurry anyway… So 3-4 days later, I responded and then received a quick reply like I’ll write you. Now a week or more has passed with nothing. I’m just saying, don’t be ultra excited and psyched about catching up but then flake out.

If you haven’t noticed already, I’ve been in a crap mood lately. At work, management is bugging me. Not my department manager really, but higher up. I’m just starting to see mismatches between the talk and the actions. And there’s also some asshole-type behavior going down too that is disappointing. But my own projects are going fine. Still lots to learn. I’m taking a 3-day storytelling training in Berkeley later this month, so that should be fun.

In my personal life, I’ve been feeling a little stressed. More contract work for Dad. I hate when the other party is a total prick (telecom MNC) and then dad bends over backwards to be all flexible with them. I suppose, I feel a little protective of my father… I mean, if they are going to be assholes, please. It’s not like he needs their stupid $5k per year. Screw their bullshit. No deal. So I write the correspondence, because look, we’ve been trying to negotiate since June. Don’t waste my fucking time. And yet he keeps wanting me to thank them again and again for blah de blah. I know about being professional, but I’m not about to kiss ass to pricks. Show some goddamn pride please. And stop feeding me that bullshit about being an immigrant trying to get along with everybody. Fuck that. You’re a retired physician. You’re a businessman. Sure, be flexible and accommodating, but you’re not anyone’s fricking servant. Ugh. Makes me so mad. Thankfully, we have the upper hand in this particular contract, so the MNC can just kiss off. Haha. That’s the thing. I’m ok with helping my father with this kind of stuff, but we’re not going to play the coolie. Enough said.

In other news, I’m trying to keep up with my year’s projects. Finally settled on a volunteer activity. I contacted the local theater, and they have some openings for ushers. Luckily, the theater is right down the road. I’m just psyched to see some productions for free. Hee, hee.

I started Spanish class last week. Getting to the first class was a nightmare: I underestimated traffic, my friend and I couldn’t find the pho restaurant, we ended up scarfing down a random dinner, the school parking lot was chock full, I front-ended my friend in the lot, we arrived to class 10 minutes late, I didn’t have a pen. Yeah, one thing after another. The good news is, the teacher rocks. I gotta study up before next class.

At home: well, John and I have fallen off the daily Phelps program. We still walk a couple times a week, but we need to get back on the daily thing.

I discovered yesterday that Remy has extreme sensitivity on her back right above the hind legs. I had noticed that she squirms around when I brush her there, when I didn’t see any skin irritation or redness or swelling, and I thought it was maybe a tickle spot. Well yesterday, I touched her there on our walk and she yelped. Wtf? I did some more research, and that’s where her kidneys are. I don’t know why I never considered anything internal… so now I’m a bit freaked out. I mean, no changes in weight or movement or swelling. But she has been drinking more water (but I thought it was just because she’s getting older). After the whole incident with Oscar, I don’t want to take her to the emergency vet, so tomorrow I’m calling our normal vet. I just wish she could tell me. I know I should think positively, but I’m bummed. She’s 11, and I just feel like the bad stuff is coming soon. Boo.

Well, time to get moving. Lost an hour already with daylight savings.