John and I returned late Monday night/early Tuesday morning from our quick trip back East. I think it was just the right amount of time for me… 4 days to spread amongst his family and mine. I was pleased that we managed to catch two shows (Divine Performing Arts, which reminded me of Chinese school talent shows mixed with a Christian rock concert, and Les Mis), visit with both sets of parents, visit each of his 3 siblings in Maryland, plus visit with my friend’s mom. The secret this time was definitely setting boundaries from the get go. Contrary to our usual mode of operation, we decided on the first two days with my parents, the next two days with his. We still spent an inordinate amount of time in the car, but somehow I felt more rested. And thank goodness I didn’t have my mystery allergy/illness. My face wasn’t congested or swollen at all. Hurray.
So interestingly, when we met with one of John’s sisters, the conversation somehow turned towards John’s computer hardware. His sister’s son thinks John is the man because of all his gadgets. Anyway, as John shared the specs on his hardware, his sister made a comment suggesting that our stash was excessive. Yeah, I agree, it is a lot of hardware for one household, but you know, he works in tech and I work in tech. That’s our thing. And half of it is for his work. And then earlier that night, when I told his sister she should dig through her love letters for Get Mortified, she said “Who has the time? I work, I gotta deal with the kids, etc.” So here’s the thing: these are all choices. She decided to have four kids, and so consequently, her life is filled with responsibilities affiliated with that choice. And in essence, everyone spends money on SOMEthing or someone. So, I just said, you know, “Some people have 4 kids. We have 6 computers.” We chose not to have kids, so we spend our money on gadgets and on travel. That’s that.
Recently, I’ve grown increasingly frustrated just in general. First, I’m fed up with people who are miserable and depressed and yet still remain in a state of inaction. I know, this is like a recurring issue I have with people… and I know they don’t do it to disappoint others, but I can’t help but feel disappointed and sometimes downright angry. Seriously, enough with the excuses. Yeah that may seem easy for me to say, because I’m skinny or I have a good job or I’m not in debt or whatever. Truth is, I too have been in the darkness before: unhappiness and self-pity can only last for so long. In the end, unless you’re calling it all quits, there’s still a lot to be grateful for. For example, every time someone I know delivers a healthy baby, I am reminded and thankful that fortunately, I don’t have a congenital defect or physical disability! Jesus Christ. DO SOMETHING with what you do have!
Second, I’m irritated with half-assed friends. I mean, that is life, I suppose. But I’ve decided to conserve my own energies and not work so hard on maintaining relationships. It’s just too much effort, and frankly, I’m not suffering from a paucity of friends. Haha, how snobbish does that sound?
Ok, time for bed. Gotta be ready for a productive day at work tomorrow. Launching tons of new stuff next week. I’m having a blast… still.