It’s been a rough week: I’ve been feeling rather fatigued. Last weekend, I was busy dealing with another SQL Server intrusion to our database at work. Pain in the ass. Stayed up late into the night trying to troubleshoot. Thankfully, I resolved the issue… well, for now. I need my web developer to get on it man.
At the same time, I’ve had some difficulty concentrating this week at work. John and I met up with our friend for happy hour. His wife was totally stressed: she had nothing to say, didn’t want anything to eat… was visibly worried. He shed some more light on his status: the cancer has spread to his kidney, liver, and lung– yeah, pretty advanced and very serious. My previous entry about him having had symptoms for 6-8 months was wrong. His main problem was constipation on and off and then occasional puking. I don’t know: it’s a moot point now. But I guess part of the disconnect was that he doesn’t tell his wife everything. And then some misinformation occurs when she transfers information to me. Long story short, the doctors saw some signs earlier on, but they had attributed them to other things. So now we’re talking stage 4 (of 4) adenocarcinoma. It’s important to be hopeful, but frankly, I’m really scared and really sad.
In the trivial issues of my own life, I recently went back on the Pill. I know, woo hoo. I had had enough with the cramps and full-blown periods, so on my last visit to Planned Parenthood (which I LOVE btw), I got hooked up. And since I’m a vain beotch, I asked my doc a million questions about the impact of the Pill on my skin. She didn’t seem the least bit worried. I mean, hello: severe, disfiguring acne!! But whatev. She said that particular pill would be fine. And now I think I actually have to contend with a host of other issues. For one thing, I’ve been stuffing my face this last week. Maybe it’s the stress, maybe the meds… I’m really not sure. What I do know, however, is that DB– which was previously within reach– has now eluded me again. Sure, it could be the ice cream or chocolate or fried rice or pork ribs. Fucking A.
Plus, my skin has been itchy as hell. It’s like the goddamn shingles all over again, except all frickin’ over: back, shoulders, scalp, legs. Twice this week I was so damn itchy, I couldn’t sleep. At work, I know my coworkers were thinking I was Pigpen or something. Finally, I had Bubs apply Benedryl cream to my back last night. Freakface tried to apply it WITHOUT using his fingers. Yeah, in other words, he took off the cap, and then I felt the scratchy tube opening scraping against my skin. Jesus, it’s not like I have leprosy. Fucker. After I yelled at him, he used his fingers but in very swift slapping motions so as to minimize the skin-skin contact. Nice. Gotta love the hubby. In sickness and in health my ass. But whatever. That cream gave me some much needed relief. No itching at work today. Yay.
So I’m glad the weekend is almost here. I need to sleep in and just decompress. Feel really stressed out with all the crap that’s going on. Btw, I finally drafted a letter to the coworker with acne. I wrote and re-wrote that damn thing a million times because I just couldn’t get the right feel across. But Tina helped me, so I think it’s ready. And I gotta do it. I really hope my clinic can help her. I wonder if she’ll come talk to me after she reads my letter. I’ll probably break down and cry like those people on the ProActiv commercials. I don’t know if it’s the damn birth control pills or what but I’m a big wuss these days. Need to toughen up!