Bubs and I graduated from couples counseling… well, kind of. You see, since he’s been on leave of absence, we’ve had no problems. Zilch. BBD (Bubbey Belvedere) gets his shit done. He’s like the hobbyist of the century. You have no idea: photography, gardening, reading, canning… yes, the dude went to the library and got books on making jams and shit. Did you know there’s even a book out there on time off in San Francisco? It’s written specifically for people who are taking a break from work, and the guide has all kinds of tips on cutting your budget and finding cheapie deals in the city. You can bet I’ll be reading those chapters– I’m always scouting out ways to improve my game.
Anyway, last week John made four jars of blackberry jam. Today, he made a couple jars of strawberry jam. Our veggie garden out back now consists of strawberries, pumpkin, lemon, romaine lettuce, cilantro, parsley, basil, thyme, cantaloupe, watermelon, spinach… yeah, he’s going nuts with it. Some of it, we’ve been able to harvest but most of the fruit will have to wait until next year. In the meantime, we’re hitting multiple farmer’s markets in the area. Yeah, very hippie, but consider it research for when John launches his collection of jams and jellies. Don’t be surprised if he starts hocking jars at his very own table. I’m supposed to help design the labels… I’m telling you: new Bubs has a lot of energy.
So yeah, our last session with the therapist was totally bizarro. We did “sand play,” which was essentially selecting/placing a bunch of figurines into a litterbox-sized sandbox. The object was to select pieces to represent our relationship. Yeah, after she explained the activity, we looked at each other like, wtf? The exercise was just too weird. But we went along. After we were finished, she asked John to start with the explanations. “Well, this figure of two people in an embrace is us. These are our two dogs… Um this is a tray of cookies and milk…” I couldn’t help but interrupt. She doesn’t want us to identify what the figure is, we’re supposed to explain why we chose it and what it represents about our relationship. So I took over… But it was funny. And very awkward. Afterwards, I asked her what other people do for this exercise. She said she has a child client whose mother is an alcoholic. The child put a person in a bed and placed it in the corner of the box. She put a nurse standing next to the bed; then she took a cup and just kept pouring sand over the bed. Yeah, serious. And then she had a couple where the figures were at opposite corners and one of them was the Incredible Hulk.
So after that, we kind of realized that we were doing ok, you know? And after we finished explaining our relationship, the therapist busted out the POLAROID camera to take a picture of our sand play. Yeah, can you fucking believe? A Polaroid?? Hello? So we have the experience captured.
Later I offered to take the sand play apart and put all the figurines back on the shelf, but she insisted that we leave it. She would disassemble after we left. Weird, right? I mean, I get the karma thing but still.
Anyhow, the following week, I called to cancel our appointment. It was our last one anyway. Therapy definitely helped us by showing us alternative ways of communicating or working through conflicts but the sand play was just too much, so we graduated early. 🙂