I haven’t felt this energetic and happy in a long, long time. In fact, I feel so much exuberance and zest that John now calls me “Power Pill.” Why the refreshed outlook? Well besides the obvious of having lucked out with Bubbey (from what my unattached friends tell me, the dating world is treacherous out there!) and two great pups, I just feel like things are finally starting to gel over here. I’m making friends (and reconnecting with old ones), I’m doing activities that had always been on my list (skating, riding, cycling), the job is totally kickass (more on that later), and this is super vain but my skin is finally clear. The last point is not one that I bring up too often (it’s a bit personal), but I just want to say, all those super sappy testimonials you see on the Proactive-type commercials? I cry every time I watch those (whether they are real customers or not), because I totally identify with their old feelings of ugliness, insecurity, worthlessness, and embarrassment. Honestly, thinking back to college, some days I felt so sickened by the way I looked, I simply stayed in my room all damn day. And you know how anal I am about school… me skip class? I dunno. It’s hard to describe, and I hope none of you ever feel that sense of paralysis: it’s just crazy. All those things people say about being hindered by body image and self-esteem issues… I really do feel a certain liberation now. Sounds silly but it’s true. John says I need to reconsider my position on elective plastic surgery now… after all, whatever makes you happy, right?
So I have to update on the job (surprise, surprise). I just passed my five-month milestone. You see, at my former job, everything started out hunky dory. Loved the job, loved the people, clean tech was saving the world, blah, blah. But by month five, the shit was hitting the fan every goddamn day. The signs were there… I just refused to look at them.
In contrast, my current place is still rockin’. Sure, there are some deep-rooted internal team issues, but thankfully, I’m not pulled into that. I like everyone and everyone likes me. La dee da. The other stuff, they are working on.
A couple weeks ago, a few of us attended a workshop on environmental diversity– expanding environmentalism and outreach to diverse communities, and it was a really informative session. They had all these panelists from really cool nonprofits and independent media… These people are amazing– they’re out there inciting action, engaging people in their community. We all felt really inspired, and for the next fiscal year, our team is really going to focus on outreach to new communities.
I had my first presentation to the Board this past Wednesday. My god. I was obsessing. Had the slides ready like a week before, and then I saw the GIS person’s slides and she totally created her own template. Mapping people, I tell you. All into pantones and RGBs and shit. Her template was awesome, which in turn, threw me into a tizzy because mine was just a plain gradient background.
So then, I had no choice but to spend an inordinate amount of time creating my new template: late nights at home, a mini breakdown because Bubbey (Mr. Visio himself) kept dismissing the importance of an impressive template… but in the end, I sliced/cropped an image from Keynote (Yes Apple, thank you!) and came up with a nice, clean template. Whew! Thank goodness.
John kept saying I was too competitive, but it wasn’t even about that. I didn’t much care to surpass Casey. I just didn’t want her slides to be a 10 and mine to be a 2. I had to at least be an 8 or 9, right?
Anyway, in signature style, I overprepared my ass. I was practically rehearsing my lines in my sleep. I ran through the slides in the bathroom, in the car, at the store… it was insane. But it paid off! I seriously rocked it. Afterwards, all the big dogs were blown away, and the next day, I got so many compliments, including people asking if I had done power speaking or a lot of public speaking events!!! Boy did I fool them! Ha. I mean, to be blunt, their standards obviously aren’t that high, but still, I was so pleased especially since I used to have major social anxiety! So their comments really made my day. And, now I have a nice template I can reuse for next time. Hee, hee. I’m such a nerd.