I Love Horses, I Love Horses Not…

I Love Horses, I Love Horses Not…

Ahh my tumultuous love affair with horses continues… I’ve been riding now since mid September. I just completed my thirteenth lesson this past Saturday and well, despite my earlier enthusiasm about riding fast and about realizing my true cowgirl self, in the last month or so, I’ve started to doubt the whole horse-rider relationship. Yes, it’s a little embarrassing to admit, but the bottom line is, I have issues about the lacking (or rather, nonexistent) emotional connection with the horses. I find myself really wanting them to behave and interact like dogs. But they don’t. They are so aloof. Sure, part of the deal is that riding different horses improves my skills; certainly, as a novice rider, I need that. But still, I sort of feel like I’m using the horse every lesson. I just ride him/her, order ’em around, and then buh bye. It’s like a freaking business transaction or something. I don’t know, it just feels disconnected. So what ends up happening is that I enjoy the hour that I’m riding, but as soon as I dismount and go home, I start bellyaching about the emotional detachment. And for the entire week following, I’m on this hot/cold emotional roller coaster: I persuade myself to stop riding because there’s no point without the true relationship. Then the following week, I get on the horse, and I love cantering so much that I find myself eager for the next lesson. Then I go home and the love/hate cycle continues.

This Saturday, I rode Hobbs again. I’d ridden him before. He’s a big beautiful chestnut quarterhorse– yes, the former show horse. He’s gorgeous. Again, a total stubborn mofo who gives me plenty of trouble in my walk/jog transitions BUT he is so soft and pretty. I got sucked in once again. I ended up staying an extra hour after my lesson to pet him and feed him. I even talked to him, so who knows, maybe Hobbs and I have a burgeoning friendship. I’m a real sucker, I tell you. Now I guess I’ll at least finish up the year and then possibly re-evaluate in the New Year. I’m so fickle.

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