Double Monster Stinkbombs

Double Monster Stinkbombs

You know, Bubs and I were having a nice night out yesterday. I’d completed my first riding lesson (which went very well despite the certain bruising I will get on my bum), and we had just finished scarfing down some rolls at Sushi Monster. Life was good. We had the pups along for the ride, and we were about ready to call it a night.

Usually, I leave the pups off leash from the car to the house. Well yesterday, Martin caught the scent of a critter. Remy was practically on our doorstep when she heard Martin chasing something along the community fence. She ran to join him, and for the next several seconds, they were hot on the trail of this mystery beast. They were deep in the brush, totally ignoring my calls to come. Finally, they cornered the animal. What the hell was it?

Suddenly, Martin started thrashing his head left and right. I thought he’d caught something in his mouth. Then it appeared. Two feet before me: a skunk with it’s tail raised. By then the damaged had already been done. Martin started rubbing around in the lawn like crazy. Remy continued to pursue, and then she too got sprayed. Both dogs, totally blasted. In the face.

Have you ever smelled a skunk? Jesus fucking Christ! Our initial reaction was to hose them down outside. But, to get to our patio, they have to go through the house. Well, la dee da. On their fucking way to the yard, both my angels rubbed themselves silly on our carpets. Blah, blah, I hosed them down and dried upstairs. Meanwhile, John started researching the de-skunking process. Hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, liquid soap. Fuck, fuck, check. He ran out to the store. Somehow the smell had gotten on him too, because people at the store gave him weird looks. Twenty minutes later, he was back. We did the dip. Seemed to work some. By now, the entire house was bombed. I wonder if this will be a natural fumigant (?) for our ant problem… Anyway, we didn’t sleep well at all. John insists he awoke with a sore throat. Such a drama queen.

So this morning, John walked into work. A few minutes later, he called asking me to pick him up. He stunk, and his coworkers told him to go home. Are you fucking kidding me? I mean, yes it stinks but it’s not as if it smells like a sewage plant or anything…

Anyway, I headed to the pet store where I picked up some Nature’s Miracle. I’ve always heard great things about their products. Some secret non-toxic sauce with enzymes. I need to buy their stock. Came home, poured that stuff into a spray bottle and started spraying away. Whole house is sprayed. I’m heading over to Fonda’s for lunch, and then when I return, that’ll be the true test. Meanwhile, Bubs is off to Starbucks or somewhere to get some work done. He’s got a customer meeting tomorrow– I hope he’ll be fully de-skunked by then.

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