The new year just hadn’t been going right for me. With all my ongoing feuds, I was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with me. Perhaps I had been a real bitch in my earlier life? I dunno… what was up with all the bad karma?
You see, after sitting through another insufferable morning commute, watching all the peeps whiz by in the HOV lane, I was pushed right over my breaking point. Enough was enough with this goddamn HOV sticker! Where the hell was it? The check cashed BEFORE Christmas. To make matters worse, on Hybridcars.com, I found loads of people had gotten their magic passes. When did they buy? In January, for crying out loud! Wtf? I wasn’t going to take this bullshit any longer.
Since no one in the special processing unit ever answers the fucking phone, I had to dig up a fax number, any goddamn fax number for the DMV. I finally forced my foot in the door with a letter to the special processing unit manager, delivered via the DMV Media Relations department. Aw yeah, baby! Can’t escape my wrath, especially when you tick me off beyond belief. So I faxed and I emailed. Whatdya know? People actually give a shit in media relations. I got an email this morning. Even though I was told there was no way to check the status of my sticker, Mario responded with some actual information. My application was approved January 3. Stickers shipped to old address. Oddly, I was living at that old address up until January 13, and I had checked mail at both places up until January 21. Monkey business. I explained this to Mario, and he said DMV mail would not get forwarded. How fucked is that? I’ll get all my junk mail forwarded, but not the most important mail! His suggestion? RE-fucking-APPLY! Can you believe the nerve? And then my application goes back into the processing queue. So I jumped through the damn hoops again, and sent off application number 2.
Well I guess the earthly forces were feeling my pain… either that or my coworkers were getting sick of hearing my bitchings. The damn stickers FINALLY came in the mail today. They were postmarked January 7 then again January 17, and they WERE forwarded to the new address. Whatever, all technicalities that you probably don’t want to hear about, but hey, I’m a mystery solver like that. I like the facts. So now I wonder, should I let them process application number 2? Maybe I’ll get a second set of stickers…. hmmm. Man, I stuck those things on so damn fast. Can’t wait to time the commute tomorrow morning. Speed Racer in da house now!
In other news, I discovered ants in my bathroom. Second floor, mind you. Hearty lil’ bastards. I tried the baby powder option. Supposedly the talcum powder will halt their breathing. Yeah, mother fuckers, DIE!
Oh, I need to share with you my latest tip. Graphite powder. That shit is the bomb! Our keys to the new place were sticking like crazy. I’m telling you, these days I’m on a super short fuse. And after sitting in slow traffic coming home, I just want to walk in the door and not have to struggle for five minutes to get the damn key out, you know? Is that really so much to ask? Seriously. So fortunately, the listing agent brought by this bottle of magic dust. Poof, poof into the keyhole. And now the keys slip in and out. Aren’t you impressed? I definitely was!
Ok well Bubbey’s on business in Portland this week, so I’m loading up on Chinese/HK films. Watching Takeshi tonight!