So John and I had a talk tonight about my issues “adjusting” to my new life. I guess it’s taking me a bit longer than expected and well, a disappointing call from the engineering headhunter didn’t help either (firms are apparently turned off because I “strayed” outside environmental work). I guess it’s fine– job hunting just takes time. I think part of the problem is that I’m frustrated with all this me time without my friends.
Thinking back, today was actually a pretty good day. I sold my house phone on Ebay for more than expected. In the morning, I took the dogs to the San Mateo park: we walked along the water and the sun was out (as usual). I got a cool skirt for $8 at TJ Maxx and CK jeans for $10 at Marshalls. (Usually, I hate those stores, because they’re just so damn disheveled and junky, but today I was pleasantly surprised.) I was also very happy to FINALLY find my scunci Magic-bun gadget at the Rite-Aid next door.
You have no idea how many places I went searching for this fucker: Walgreens, Safeway, Ulta… Since I lost mine at Tairyo in June, my hair just hasn’t been the same. Speaking of hair, my ‘do is looking pretty damn ragged these days. I was thinking of going long again, but I’m in the middle of another mid-life crisis, so perhaps a chop is in order? I looked on Craiglist and a few salons are searching for hair models… maybe I’ll try that.
What else happened today… let’s see, did a bunch of stupid administrative tasks– bills, frequent flyer point requests, more job applications. Aren’t you jealous? So the lows of today were also numerous: 1) I got lost heading to John’s office for lunch (after shopping) 2) the post office was out of Jim Henson Muppets stamps; instead, I had to get the Super Heroes (ok, not so bad) 3) I made dinner, which involved heating up packaged risotto in the oven. I followed the directions but placed the container on the wire rack (not a baking tray) and put it in the toaster oven (not the normal oven)… the container melted and risotto leaked out inside the oven! 4) My friend bought me a buyblue.org t-shirt for my b-day. I went to the website and became utterly distraught by the disconnect between my politics and my consumer habits. Granted, practically none of the companies in that database support the Dems (duh, big biz always goes right), but fuck man, Amazon? Target? We just moved and bought tons of shit from these people. They’re big-time red staters!! The only big companies that go blue are Costco, Estee Lauder, Apple, Gateway, Sun. I don’t know. I just felt ill thinking about it all. Seriously, how am I supposed to reconcile my existence with my heart? It’s like, I’m moving away from nonprofit, because I want to make money. I also want to donate more money (because ultimately, I believe that’s what progressive causes need). Now, I’m getting rejected by employers who can pay me better, I have no job, I’m disillusioned with demonstrations/protests/rallies, and I have no substantial personal money to donate. On top of that, I’m aiding and abetting the Republicans on their path of world destruction by supporting companies that fuel their machine. See why I had a frickin’ breakdown this evening? Sigh.
John’s gone to bed, and I’m still up. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. I think I need to make local friends. Maybe that will help me ease back into things. Tonight I searched “Mandarin” on Craigslist. I signed up for “Mandarin Language Dinners,” this group that meets monthly to socialize in Chinese. Also, there are a few DV shelters looking for Mandarin-speaking volunteers– might be something to do while I’m job hunting… This ad also caught my eye, as Foster City is right down the road from here. But apparently, I’m not cool enough to join:
OK, seriously, where are all the hip/cool/fun people nowadays? So far away from me it seems! Everyone seems to grow up so fast nowadays that they don’t want to go out and have fun anymore. I’ve heard it all: “I’m too old for that now”, “That’s so immature”, or they’re tied down in a serious relationship or are married. Geez people, don’t act like you’re all 40 years old! Or else their definition of having fun is different from mine.
I guess that my definition of fun mostly has to do with more active and youthful activities: having some drinks, socializing, dancing; all in a lively atmosphere with other people in their 20’s. Don’t get me wrong though; I’m not a party animal; I like to do lots of other things and am willing to try many new things too! Maybe even things like going bowling or going to amusement parks could be entertaining. Or going up to the snow and/or Reno/Tahoe?
So anyone want to go out and have a good time? I really hope that there are people who connect with this message. Please be in your 20’s, Asian, and have some life in you!
club, dance, Korean, Chinese, Japanese
Even if I were in my 20’s, this person strikes me as being a bit too TRL. Still, the posting made me laugh; it reminded me of a time when John and I had this huge fight. He then said something totally insulting like, “I can’t, because I have a girlfriend who’s allergic to having fun!” Whatever. I’m fun. People want to be my friend… 😛