John’s been itching for a convertible. Before our move to China, he drove a sports coupe. Personally, I find sports cars a bit too flashy, not to mention impractical, but hey, that was his car and he was “only going to be 25 once.” Whatever, I hear that excuse no matter how old he is. So, fast forward five years and the car once again tops of our list of necessitites (actually, it ranked second to his big-screen tv). Thankfully, John showed a little self-control this time. Coming from a family of Toyota loyalists, I was very pleased when he called to report that he had purchased a used Camry. Yes, I know the choice is boring as hell, but hey, I’m almost a thirty-something; it’s all downhill from here, baby. I should mention that John prefaced his news with this: I WILL have a convertible at some point while we are in California. To that, I replied, “We’ll talk about it later.” Haha, tricksies.

So the Camry has about 90k miles on it. Last week I took it into the shop for the usual 90k-mile service: timing belt, water pump, new brakes, etc. Yeah, wasn’t cheap, but I got to testdrive a Prius, the electric hybrid. Oh yeah, I’m in Leo’s club now. Do you even have to ask? Duh! Leo DiCaprio, of course. The biggest tree-huggin’ A-list celeb out there (out of like, five). Leo and I, man: we tight. Ok, enough with the bs. I should be ashamed: clearly, my addiction to Hollywood gossip is stronger than ever, despite my living in China.

And truth be told, the Prius was a disappointment. At first I felt all cutting edge, starting the car with an on/off button (no ignition key) and shit, but that novelty wore off quickly. Toyota tweaked the dashboard, and the digital spedometer feels like it’s 100 meters away. Then at red lights, the car engine just shuts off. I don’t know, operating the car is just weird, unnatural, and counterintuitive. On top of that, its mpg isn’t all that impressive: 50 mpg or something for a car whose body reminds me of a Geo. Remember those? They were like cars the size of golf carts– no wonder they had high gas mileage; they were practically soapbox derby cars! It’s kinda cheating when you scrimp on size and materials, you know?

Ah well. I enjoyed testing out the Prius. I felt all green and tree-huggery for the day. So special… at least until I ran into about 50 of them driving around town. The onboard GPS system was cool too. Accurate directions, delivered in a calm, soothing voice with plenty of notice for upcoming turns and exits. What, us? Arguing about directions? No way. You’re reading too much into this.

John says it’s just another indication of how much I deprive my pups, but yes, Martin eats carrots– raw. He didn’t always eat veggies. In fact, it was only after I read a dog nutrition book advising that dogs get some fresh veggies that I started incorporating leafy greens, carrots, peas, and the like into their kibble. In the beginning, they never ate that stuff plain. It had to be coated with soup or gravy or oil. They spat out the uncovered bits. Then I started giving them pureed or chopped veggies, remnants from my juicing adventures. I was pleased to discover that once I mixed this slop into the kibble, both dogs were too damn lazy to pick it out. Haha, I’m tricksies. Either way, Martin still doesn’t crunch his food. I swear it’s a miracle the kibble doesn’t come out whole in his stool. I never hear him crunching; I just hear the soft Lab lips slopping around and within a few minutes, the bowl is empty again.

Now that we’re back in the States, there’s plenty of food selection for the dogs. Jesus Christ. How many different kinds of dog kibble can there possibly be? John’s work is right next door to a Pet Club, and yesterday I was in that store for about an hour looking at just dry dog food. We have them back on Wellness, except now they eat the senior formula (sniff, sniff). My friend recommended Nutro, but there’s Nutro Max and Nutro Natural Choice. What’s the difference between these two lines of the same brand? No frickin’ clue. I tried to research it on the Nutro website. One says for max performance. The other touts shiny coat and healthy skin. Must I pick one or the other? Why my dilemma? Well, you know me. I’m a cheapie, and well, Pet Club offers coupons for Nutro but not Wellness… and the price difference is significant. I know, I have too much damn time on my hands, debating dog food! I warned you that I have OCD! Anyway, in the end, I decided to stick with Wellness. The dogs seem to like it and well, brand loyalty can’t be a bad thing. (After all, Toyota has never failed me.) So for now, that’s what we’ll do… at least until Pet Club publishes their next coupon flyer.

In other news, I’ve been relaxing, chilling at home mostly. Our apartment complex has an outdoor heated pool PLUS a hot tub. Of course since I have self-image issues, I only go when absolutely no one is around. That translates to only three trips so far. I found myself a nice one-piece at Target and did my little aerobic exercises in the pool. I also tried the community gym. It’s certainly no Physical. I miss my elliptical at the gym in Shanghai. Here I have to lower my standards to StairMaster. Ugh. Aren’t I the fitness snob now?

Meanwhile, Mandarin studying is not happening. I aced my midterms, but shit, that was eons ago. Surely, my brain has reformatted and wiped everything by now. Yeah, old age really sucks. No retention I tell you. Ok well the pups are harassing me for their evening walk. Btw, take note: in Shanghai, it costs 2000 RMB (~240 USD) to license a dog. Here? $12. No wonder so many people in Shanghai don’t register… duh!