Enrolling as a student here in Shanghai is, as you might guess, quite a process. That said, I set my expectations low from the start. Fortunately, I’ve been pleasantly surprised. In fact, the experience has been rather organized and maybe even less bureaucratic than in the States. Say it isn’t so!

Perhaps the most tedious part of becoming an official student is converting my tourist visa into a student visa. Two weeks ago, I underwent the required physical exam at the government clinic for foreigners. I went through the experience last October in 2004, so I remembered the special shuffle. The process actually brings to mind an assembly line: whole chicken in, packaged chicken parts out. Not sure why I think of a chicken processing plant. I just do.

In one hour, I passed through a series of maybe seven different rooms (not sequentially ordered, unfortunately), each housing an “expert” to conduct the test, be it the weigh-in, blood draw, blood pressure check, organs exam, vision test, ultrasound scan (yes, employers here get to know whether you’re pregnant), EKG, or chest x-ray. Talk about zero physician-patient interaction, this was a no games in-and-out operation: hello, goodbye, next. Three minutes tops.

So I received my health report today. Drumroll… The doctor has deemed me to “Be in basically normal health status.” What’s the difference between “basically normal” and just plain “normal”? I don’t think I’ll ever know.