Turkey Day

Turkey Day

Someone, on Thanksgiving day, decided he wanted to get new bedroom furniture on his day off. We’ve had this super el-cheapo closet since the day we moved in. And about ten days later, the drawers collapsed. Basically, the particle board crumpled around the fittings. I now pull the drawers out with pink plastic string gift-wrapped around each unit. Ugly as hell, but useful. Well every now in then, when he sees my contraption in action, John gets pissed off. So Thursday, he decided it was time for new drawers. Yay. Headed to Ikea and bought a dresser and a highboy. Now, Ikea is all about DIY furniture, so when the salesperson said it would cost 4% of the total bill to assemble this shit in my apartment, I sort of huffed in disbelief. 100 RMB (12 USD) for assembly? Hah, I’ll do it myself! How hard can it be? See what China does to you? You begin to value 100 RMB like it’s 100 USD. It totally warps your concept of what things are worth. So we get the heavy-ass shipment home, unpack all the pieces, and the entire dining/living room is cluttered with wooden planks, cardboard, wooden pegs, hundreds of screws. Sigh. What have I done? Plus, John’s really bad with directions: in other words, he refuses to read them! If he were to assemble the furniture, the drawers would surely be upside down! He still helped though. I played surgeon, and he played assistant. Screwdriver! Check. Wooden pegs! Check. He handed me tools, held up parts, hammered some pieces. We started before the buffet and I finished afterwards. With OCD, everything is an urgent matter. Oh well, was a good way to work off some of that meal!
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Speaking of the feast, the Hilton’s turkey day buffet was grand. I ate my happy little heart out. My only regret is that I didn’t save enough room for dessert. Kinda OD’d on the turkey and cranberry sauce and then had no choice but to let the chocolate crepes, raspberry black forest cake, chocolate lollipops, and several slices of spiced pumpkin pie slide by untouched. Lucky for John, he employed the correct strategy. Skimp on the main foods and binge at the dessert table. He put away so many chocolate crepes, man, I started feeling ill just watching him scarf it all down. That night my tummy was so full, I was writhing in pain. I’d never felt so much pain from overeating since that time in Raleigh when John dared me to finish his a tray of homemade bread pudding. When John dares me, I immediately go insane. So, I shoved in FIVE bread puddings. Ingesting them was the easy part, but ten minutes later, I probably had a pound of bread expanded in my belly. I ended up rolling around moaning and groaning all night. We seriously considered going to the hospital. Yeah, it was an asinine thing to do. But you see, that’s my fix. No smokes, no drugs, little to zip alcohol. On occasion, I just indulge to the point of food coma.

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