Well I was guilt-tripped into a trip back East. Fortunately, I was smart enough to know that four days is more than sufficient for QT with the fam. Essentially, I was my retired parents’ bitch for the week. My trip was timed ever so carefully, falling right in between two snowstorms. Monday morning, when they picked me up at 7 am from Dulles, it was butt-ass freezing cold. I had to endure all the parental nagging right off the bat: put on this sweater, wear this coat, put on these gloves. Jesus Christ. My coat is in my duffle bag; just let me get it out please. The drive to Frederick was thankfully quiet, and then as soon as I got home, I had the list to tend to.

Well at least I can pride myself in getting shit done. My dad got yet another HP laptop (I hate HP), so I had to install software, set up email, move all his files. Meanwhile, his desktop harddrive went kaput and his other laptop kept reverting to its old issues. You’d think my dad is a computer whiz with all the equipment he has at home, including the wifi but he’s not. At all. In other duties, I was strongly advised (i.e. forced) by my parents to get together with John’s parents for lunch. I know, it didn’t kill me and they are nice people, but do I really have to do lunch with the in-laws when I’m spouseless on the East coast? Other PA tasks included cell phone shopping, rebate processing, cancelling Verizon services, faxing, making service complaint phone calls, collecting/mailing trade-in phones, checking frequent flyer balances, etc. Yup, a whole host of fun shit.

Then to top that off, I got an earful about so and so’s kids getting PhDs, MDs, and JDs. Well sorry dad, your kids are a pair of losers. Sorry I don’t want to be an elitist Republican who believes that everything I have I earned all by my very self. Ugh. Needless to say, the rest of my stay was full of explosions. Can’t help it. I’m not going to fly all the way to the East coast to be your bitch only to have you poke and prod and compare me to your friends’ kids. I’m not your fucking prizehorse. I’m not your fucking Lexus to show off around the neighborhood. Whatever. You can’t get through the dense skulls of Chinese parents. You just can’t. They NEVER get it.

So I’m back in LA now, in the arms of my loving and supportive husband. John’s the best. 🙂 And we’re heading back Saturday. I’m looking forward to reuniting with my puppies. Now that I’ve got a few episodes of the Dog Whisperer under my belt, I’m ready to test out some new training tactics.