Even an Elephant Can Learn to Dance

Even an Elephant Can Learn to Dance

Funny thing… my coworker Bill is some kind of closet MBAer. Years ago, he toyed with the idea of attending B-school. He even considered studying in the US. But then the economy took a downturn… people with MBAs just weren’t finding the jobs they thought would be a given. So Bill changed his mind. But by then, he had already spent a bunch of energy studying business-related topics like strategic channel relationships and the like (uh BOR-ING!). Anyway, the other day, he started telling me about IBM’s former CEO– Steve Gestner or something? I had no idea. I mean, beyond Trump, Forbes, Iacocca (?), Welch, Gates, Jobs, Fiorina, that’s about all I know. So anyway Bill starts telling me about Gestner’s famous quote, “Even an elephant can learn to dance.” Was Gestner talking about the mammoth Big Blue? Ha, ha. What a joke. Boy have these last few weeks been an eye-opener. Here I am at a Fortune 500, and my external hard drive at home is larger than our server’s, which is shared among 15 people. Let’s see: I just finished week 5, and I have yet to receive a door badge despite already clocking ungodly amounts of OT. I was at the goddamn office until 4:30 am on Thursday night! I mean the list goes on and on. I had to pay 5 kuai for my own office key duplicate. Oh I busted my ass recording these stupid training modules– suffered through shitty mic after shitty mic. Ended up buying my own goddamn mic so I could record at home, and I still had to redo it, “because your voice and the recording quality are so inconsistent.” Well jesus christ, I’m not trainied in voice. I don’t know how to control it, and maybe if you’d give me a fucking sound studio or at least a decent mic and computer soundcard for my hours and hours of recording, maybe I could actually produce something decent. So long story short, I worked nonstop to meet this project deadline that was last Friday. Thursday night (the day before), after the shitty mic broke a second time, the PM finally went out to buy a professional mic and a semi-professional soundcard (we had been recording on our piece of shit laptops). I stayed at work until early Friday morning and then Friday evening, they told me that my clips were no good. The PM and the other guy planned to split my modules and redo them. After I’d recorded and edited my ASS off for weeks. Mother fuckers. Hel-lo… could you have arrived at that conclusion any later? And that is just one example. Needless to say, Big Blue’s tech facilities remind me of working for FMF, except FMF was non-fucking profit. I am so irritated. Just one more month and then my contract is up for renewal.

Of course, the catch has to do with my work visa. It will make my life and John’s life so much easier to have a legit, longterm, multi-entry visa. That’s the only thing that’s holding me back. Otherwise, left middle finger, right middle finger, cross the arms. I’m outta this ghetto joint. Unbelievable. John and I are selling our Big Blue stock this week, man. Make my money and I’m out. Fucking getting exploited like crazy. Today I worked from home in the morning. Didn’t even clear it with the PM. I mean seriously, there is no reason for me to go in. I can’t save shit on the server because it’s full. Yep. Last I checked, there was 55 MB remaining. Nice. No system backup. Nadda. Totally ghetto. Did you know IBM was a goddamn computer company? Who the hell knew!

In other news, I recently hooked up with Amanda Miller– a fellow Dukie whom I met months ago. Super cool chic from Berkeley. Feminist, motivated, totally into over-analyzing… we’re having a great time. Bonded this weekend talking about all our Dukie image issues– man, that was a tough environment. Anyway, she’s organizing a Duke happy hour tomorrow night. I’m gonna try to go if IBM doesn’t smother me to death. What else?

Oh so tonight I actually came home at a decent hour and didnt have to work from home, so I decided to try something new in the kitchen. Big mistake (as you probably guessed). Tried to make this channa marsala stuff, but I didn’t have onions so I substituted with carrots and yams. Made some black rice and homemade peanut butter too (not to go with channa). So the chickpeas came out gross (but the dogs like it!), but the rice and peanut butter are edible. Kudos again to Braun for making that awesome hand mixer. I didn’t have to grate the carrots or dice the potatos. Yippee! Am I lazy?

Well before you answer that question, let me just say, I do have class twice a week from 7:30 to 8:30 am. Yeah, Frank’s class is tomorrow so actually I have to go prep now. And damn, the weather is starting to turn chilly. I had to turn on the heater last night. 🙁

Countdown til Bubbey’s back. This Saturday. We’re gonna go out to eat (I haven’t really dined out in five weeks!! I know, I have a big circle of friends, can’t you tell?) at Punjabi! Awwww yeah!

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