I went to the Foreign Languages Bookstore again today… it’s becoming a regular pitstop before my Tuesday/Thursday tutoring job. I was originally browsing the foreign books section for some light reading, maybe even an Oprah book. 🙂 But then I came across The Rape of Nanking by Iris Chang. I had heard of the book before, but after seeing the pictures inside, I was projected to an entirely different level. The images were so utterly horrifying. Photographs of decapitations, severed heads lined atop a log, a woman’s naked dead body with her genitalia mutilated… atrocities so shocking, I just can’t even fathom how human beings become trained to commit these crimes. As I thumbed through the book (and others about the Japanese invasion of Nanking), I grew so sick to my stomach. I felt saddened and angry and disgusted and ashamed. I started feeling light-headed and lost my balance a little. I heard the impassioned voice of my grandmother, describing the destruction she witnessed when Japanese soldiers blazed through Shanghai.

It’s amazing how as a child, you read all these history texts about war. You hear bits and pieces from your relatives. Yet none of it sinks in. Somehow history is this sterile subject and these accounts are simply too dramatic to be believed. Today I was reminded of just how much this world has seen… my family alone has lived through so much. My grandmother has a perspective far deeper than I have ever given her credit for: the Japanese invasion, World War II, the Cultural Revolution (fortunately, she escaped to Taiwan)… these aren’t just fictionalized events that turn into big Hollywood films. These are actual experiences. And the violence still continues today. Every time I read the news, it’s all death, destruction, intolerance, violence. The violence is real and yet so many of us carry on in our daily lives, existing in some oblivious bubble. Why? Because caring takes too much effort. And the ills of this world are so great, it’s simply too overwhelming. It’s far easier to just accept that we have problems and then dismiss them. Life goes on. So what’s the alternative solution? I don’t know, but I have to believe that somewhere someone has the answer. And it will come, because however small the minority, there are people who care enough to try. There are people who feel conflicted by the juxtaposition of wealth and poverty, of freedom and intolerance, of stability and chaos, of peace and war. One reviewer of The Rape of Nanking advised, “Read it not as an end in itself but as a start of an investigation into the horrors of war and our constant need to justify it.” May I find the courage to read Ms. Chang’s book soon.

Hmph! Some anonymous reader posted a comment on my blog the other day… the first comment ever! I ought to be quite pleased (SOMEone is reading this blog!), but this person suggested something so ludicrous. S/he said that John is my ayi and that I should just “fess up!” Can you believe the audacity? 🙂 I mean sure, he does the grocery buying and cooking, but I do the cleaning and household errands (getting things fixed, negotiating deals, setting up utilities). You know, it’s not like I’m sitting on my ass over here! Ah well, take it with a grain of salt. We make a pretty darn good match any way you cut it. I love my Bubbey.

So day 2 of Home Alone just wrapped. I spent the morning vacuuming (the dogs are starting to shed again) and doing laundry. Exciting. Fortunately, the day was sunny with a warm breeze so our clothes won’t get quite so crunchy. In the afternoon, I got up to speed with US political news. I got so worked up about Bush, i.e. tyrannical asswipe, that I decided I had to get my absentee ballot today. I biked all through town to the US consulate, only to have the guards outside tell me voter info. is only available at the other office– on Nanjing Xi Rd. And that office closes at 3:30. It was 3:15. What kind of slacker Americans work those banker hours (with a 90 minute lunch break)?

The bike ride wasn’t a total waste. After all, it was 70+ degrees outside. On the way home, I stopped by the Shanghai Library– purportedly the biggest in Asia. I got myself a library card (only 25 yuan for one year) and checked out the west wing. The place was packed with my fellow studious Chinese. I went through the English books section and was pleased to find Tchobangolous’ Handbook on Municipal Solid Waste in the environmental section, as well as a huge selection of Lonely Planet travel guides. The newspaper area was pretty comprehensive too, with NY Times, Wash Post, Guardian, Christian Science Monitor, etc. The only drawback was that the most recent papers were dated Feb. 7. Only one month old, right? I’m better off scouring the newswires online.

According to the information map at the library’s entrance, there is also an internet room, A/V room, and music room. I’ll save that stuff for when John gets back in town.

Yup. That’s what I am right now. With Bubs out of town or rather, out of the damn country, I’m left with the two awry pups. You think it’s not that bad. Well try depriving Remy and Martin of dog parks, birds, squirrels, and practically all other creatures you once thought INedible, for three months and you see what happens when they discover rodents living in the bushes of their new playground. Yeah, getting home after dark and walking them in my heels (ahh, the demands of the business world) was only part of the problem. The other was locating their shit with a flashlight and scooping it into size way-too-small sandwich bags, all while trying to hold on. Silly fools. Martin saw a critter scatter across the parking lot and all hell almost broke loose. In a situation like that, there’s a lotta room for error. I gotta watch where I step in the darkness plus it’s been a real close call keeping my fingers clean, if you know what I mean. With these rascals, you gotta be a real hard-ass. A real disciplinarian, I tell you. And it’s not easy, especially for a softie like me. 🙂

In other news, I had a meeting wtih a potential corporate client this afternoon. I got the job! I’ll be training their staff of seven on business English writing. And the gig pays too! This marks the first deal for Move the Brain English Language Services. Woo hoo! Must be the business cards (designed by the ever-so-talented Bubs)! So after landing the SABIC (they’re a petrochemical company, headquartered in Saudi Arabia) job, I treated myself to a banana smoothie and veggie sandwich at Zoe’s Cafe (or as John calls it, “Zo’s, because it should rhyme with Joe’s.”).

In the evening, I was off to my Tuesday/Thursday tutoring job (thanks Emily!). I tutor this young lady who works for Carrier Corp (the A/C company). She’s a total workaholic: she puts in like 12 hours a day, plus training and other studious activities on the weekends. Anyway, she’s all about China’s growing economy– even at the expense of the environment, worker’s rights, human rights, etc. Yeah, so needless to say, she’s a little on the conservative side. But that’s one of the greatest challenges with teaching: you have to figure out how to mold the minds of your pupils. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Okay, so I’m not that cunning. Teaching is great. I’m glad to be back into it.

Oh, I forgot to mention my other small victories. Yesterday, I picked up some pants I dropped off at a nearby tailor’s. I’m definitely very clueless about fabrics and clothing (in terms of how they are made), but the stuff I got back fit beautifully. Yes, leave it to me to purchase very inexpensive pants that don’t exactly (or even closely) fit. Yeah well I get the last laugh because thanks to my magical tailor, now my cheap pants look more expensive. 🙂

For some reason, my bike is always getting knocked over. John says someone has a grudge against me. His bike (parked right next to mine) is NEVER knocked over. After John left on Monday, I went to ride to re-orient myself (now that my navigator has left). My front brakes wouldn’t release. Riding my bike became ten times as difficult with the friction from the brake! I went to a roadside bike repairperson who suggested that I got into an accident and got the brakes all out of whack. There’s been no accident, I told him. I’ve simply been the victim of bike abuse. It took the guy about 25 minutes to finally fix the problem. And it’s only a temporary fix. The brake is damaged. It’s only a matter of time before a replacement will be needed. Goddamn cheap bike. He pumped my tires up (they need air every few days!) and off I went. Happy as a clam, speeding through the crowds and ringing that wussy bell. I even discovered a shortcut to the light rail station. John will be proud.

There’s a Chinese story about a couple where the husband did all the cooking. One day, he was scheduled to leave town for a few weeks on business. Worried that his wife would not make food for herself, he baked a large doughnut to place around her neck. He made sure it was large enough to last his entire time away. When he returned, he discovered his wife dead. The doughnut had been eaten, but only on one side. She never thought to twist the doughnut around to get the other half.

John’s heading back to the US to work for a few weeks. He keeps bringing up the Doughnut story (as if I can’t fend for myself!). Yes, I’m a terrible cook, but that’s no reason to fear that I’ll starve being home alone! Just in case, John ordered a ton of groceries–mac & cheese, pasta, spagetti sauce, bread, PB, etc. So now I have my own doughnut. I’ll remember to twist it around after I devour the front.

My friend Emily invited John and me to her friend Rebecca’s house for dinner Friday night. Apparently, Rebecca has a really kick-ass ayi (cook/maid) who makes outrageously delicious meals. I had to see what all the fuss was about. Unfortunately, John baled out last minute to work. Boy did he miss a meal to remember! Mashed potatoes (clearly not a Chinese dish), lo mein, lotus patties, white bean soup, green veggies (some kind of sprout), tofu with tomatoes… every dish phenomenal. And the rate for such a luxury? 10 yuan per hour. That’s about $1.20 USD per HOUR. My friends here say there’s no reason to ever do housework again. As tempting as that sounds, I’m still a little reluctant to give in. Not sure what my hangup is… I guess I just feel like you should clean up your own mess. Plus, I kind of have this obsession with vacuuming. There’s just something very fulfilling about hearing the dirt rattle through the vacuum hose and seeing the before and after. Yes, I’m a little crazy. I’m sure all of you heard the story (from John) about how I opted for a new vacuum instead of a new tv when I moved to Florida for grad school.

I saw an ad the other day for an ayi cooking class. I suggested that John go and check it out. 🙂 Obviously, I don’t consider him my ayi. It’s just that he said he wanted to learn Chinese cooking so this seemed like a new opportunity. They said the class was taught in both Chinese and English. I think instead, John and I will consider finding an ayi to show us how to cook Chinese food. There are plenty of lessons to learn with picking out fresh ingredients and throwing them together to make something wonderful. We’ll see. My friends say good ayis are tough to come by.

John turned the big 2-8 today. An old man, though I must admit, we became an old married couple years before he became an old man. 🙂

We had a busy day. With the recent purchase of a new blender/juicer, John was on a mission to purchase fruits/veggies “from their source.” It wasn’t enough that we lived right down the street from an open-air produce market. He claimed those vendors were middle-people, who unnecessarily came between him and his produce. So what, he wanted to buy direct from the farmers, some of whom lived in the Phillipines or the US or whereever the goods were grown? I dunno–it was all rather unclear. He just knew he wanted to slice through the layers, so fine. We walked about 20 minutes south to a big warehouse, filled with vendors and their endless cases of fruit: oranges, apples, mangoes, pears, pummelos, strawberries, dates, tangerines, cherry tomatoes… It was weird. I felt like we should have been entrepreneurs running a restaurant or juice joint. Many of the vendors said the goods sold only by the case. Of course when it came down to the sale, they were more than willing to calculate by weight. We went home with a case of Sunkist navel oranges, mangoes, and Phillipino pears. Cheaper than the open market and so sweet and delicious! John and I are psyched about this latest find–the fruit and veggies are comparable to even those of California! Come visit and we’ll take you on the fruit safari.

For his birthday, John got to satisfy his hamburger craving– twice. Once at brunch and then again at dinner, where we shamefully went to TGI Friday’s. I know, we hated that place in the US, but someone (she’ll remain nameless) told us they had the best burgers. Well, big disappointment. The entire meal was expensive and just disgusting. I don’t know what we were thinking. Afterwards, we walked to the ritzy Xintiandi where this band called Crystal Butterfly was going to play covers of U2, the Cure, and Radiohead at the ARK (one of the restaurants). One horrendous Bloody Mary (I never learn) and Long Island Iced Tea later, the band got started… with some boy-band tune. Ok, so an odd beginning for an alternative rock band, but surely the good stuff would come later. Wrong. Next, we were subjected to a Japanese boyband song and then “Celebration.” Clearly, this was NOT Crystal Butterfly. According to my waiter, this band was Fax. My sources were all wrong. Crystal Butterfly hasn’t played there every Tuesday night (as my mag suggested) for a long time. ARGH!! We left. Hoping to find consolation in ice cream, we dropped in a sweets shop. Bombed again. Mediocre ice cream and a flavorless, gross ice cream/coffee drink. We decided to plug the money pit immediately. Caught a cab and headed home. Next time, I’ll call to confirm that Crystal Butterfly is playing. Of course, I’ll drop the expectations. After all, what kind of band would be dumb enough to perform covers of songs from such greats as U2 and the Cure?

We thought we were outta the woods. We thought wrong. Big time. These last several days, we’ve seen nothing but wind, rain, and cold. So even though the dogs want to stay outside forever in their new playground, John and I cut their freedom short. It’s that damn cold. And I lost my hat again. The second one I’ve lost. I think I need one with strings to tie to my body. Otherwise, they just disappear. The last thing I remember is taking it off and holding it in my hand. I tried to search for another at the store, but they’ve already shifted their merchandise to spring stuff (baseball caps and such).

My uncle took us out to lunch yesterday at the swanky Dynasty restaurant. Of course anytime we eat out Chinese with people who know what to order, the meal turns out to be a real winner. We had several hot veggie appetizers followed by fish, shrimp, crab, noodles and a buffet of fresh fruit and coffee (but you had to elbow your way to the table). Excellent meal. I kept the receipt itemizing each dish for future visits. We’re in on the secret now…

In the evening, John and I went to Carrefour to buy the place out–again. This new apartment didn’t offer the luxury of an equipped kitchen (as the previous apartment did), so we were forced to purchase a rice cooker, pots/pans, bowls, etc. But no worries. No elaborate sets (like we had in the US). Just exactly two bowls, two plates… you get the picture. Well okay, we did get that blender/juicer combo (for only $30 USD)… we just couldn’t pass up on the idea of drinking fruit smoothies every day, especially with the fruit/veggie open-air market down the street. It’s John’s birthday tomorrow… just give in, ok?